REINVENT YOUR FUTURE

LEADING WELL RETREAT

Becoming a Storytelling Congregation

November 18-21, 2024

Reinvent your life and your leadership . . . everyday and at a retreat!

Self-care is not selfish. Invest in your own well-being!

Leading Well is an Annual Retreat

This year’s annual leadership learning retreat will be held November 18-21 in Scottsdale, AZ. It is for anyone who works with paid staff or volunteers in the context of a church. This includes those who are newly called to leading in ministry and those who wish to sharpen their skills. Pastors, Discipleship Coordinators, Deacons, Youth Directors, Children’s Ministry leaders, Worship leaders, Judicatory leaders, program staff, and anyone else who feels the call to follow Christ through service in the Church are all welcome.

This community and annual learning event began as an initiative of the ELCA Lutheran Church and has grown into an ecumenical gathering that embraces leaders from all Christian traditions. Our learning retreats are a unique blend of practical learning and sabbath rest, with a focus on the leader as a whole person. Presentations cover everything from technological tools for ministry to leveraging conflict as an opportunity for growth. This year’s focus is on storytelling.

Our facilitators understand they are more than presenters; they are the stewards of the event. The wisdom shared at the event will come from their prepared materials and much comes from YOU – the leaders who attend, each bringing your own gifts and diverse experiences. Many of our past participants have commented that their greatest “takeaways” came from synthesizing the content with fellow colleagues who also attended! Participants leave the event with an emerging Leadership Formation Plan tailored to their context, gifts, and present needs.

Leading Well is an Online Community

Leading Well seeks to help ministry leaders of curious leaders who seek to live and lead well in a time of constant disruption. This community is for pastors, deacons, and all church leaders who wish to learn and grow together, to support and resource each other, and to find new ways of being church together. Leading Well hosts two online communities – a Leading Well Facebook Group that includes daily posts and opportunities to share resources with each other, and a Surface to Soul app where videos, trainings, and resources can be readily accessed along with messaging other participants.

"The retreat gave me space to rest, reflect, and laugh."

2024  SESSION SUMMARIES & DOWNLOADS

SESSION 1

Narratives of Worthiness:
Re-writing the Stories We Tell Ourselves

SESSION 2

Telling Stories of God’s activity:
Re-igniting Evangelism

Deacon Tammy Devine

Rev. Matt Short & Rev. Miguel Gomez-Acosta

Session 1 | Overview, Questions, Links & Download
OVERVIEW
God has created us as whole, creative and resourceful beings. We will begin to ponder the stories that have become obstacles preventing us from living into that fullness. We will discover our top saboteurs and situations when we have been hijacked. By becoming aware of these narratives and questioning their accuracy, we can change how we feel and react to different situations. You will be asked to prayerfully name your first faithful step in letting go of those unhelpful stories.

Pay attention to your Sage
Your sage lives in an entirely different region of your brain, the middle prefrontal cortex, "empathy circuitry", and parts of the right brain. It generates positive emotions while handling life's challenges. These include:
  • Empathy
  • Compassion
  • Gratitude
  • Curiosity
  • Joy of creativity, and
  • Calm, clear-headed laser-focused action.
This region is wired for creativity and big-picture awareness of what is important and the best course of action. Activating this region results in release of endorphins that counter the negative impacts of stress-induced cortisol.

A sage perspective is a deliberate and intentional mental
pivot from being consumed, overwhelmed, and potentially
destroyed by adversity to genuinely embracing the
potential for joy, growth, connection, learning and purpose.

Cultivating a "sage" perspective in the brain's middle prefrontal cortex, which fosters positive emotions and resilience against stress. Consider ways you can shift from being overwhelmed by adversity to embracing joy, growth, and purpose. Recognize and challenge negative thoughts (saboteurs). Label emotions use sage powers like empathy, compassion, innovation, and decisive action. Reflect on personal stories that may dim their light and planning supportive actions.

Enter into a sage practice using sage powers:
  • Empathize - show compassion and understanding
  • Explore - assess the situation with an open mind
  • Innovate - create new solution to problems
  • Navigate -choose a path that aligns with your values
  • Activate - move forward with decisive action
Saboteurs are negative emotions generated by overused strengths. The ten saboteurs listed in the assessment include:
  • Judge
  • Avoider
  • Controller
  • Hyper-achiever
  • Hyper-rational
  • Hyper-vigilant
  • Pleaser
  • Restless
  • Stickler
  • Victim
Notice and Intercept your saboteurs by catching your inner critic, and labeling your thoughts and emotions. Reflect on your own saboteurs and the stories they tell you. Identify scriptures or personal experiences where saboteurs were overcome. Develop a plan to cultivate the "sage" perspective to address your saboteurs. Write in your booklet about addressing your inner critic. Identify who can support you with addressing their saboteurs. Decide when you’ll begin working on your saboteurs. List what your takeaways from the session along with 2-3 applications. Note the stories you tell yourself that keeps your light from shining brightly.

QUESTIONS
  • What emotions are you bringing into this space?
  • What stories do these Saboteurs tell you?
  • When do Saboteurs show up in your day or life?
  • How can you identify what the saboteur is saying to you?
  • How do Saboteurs keep you from being your best version of yourself?
  • Which saboteurs hijack you most?
  • What scripture stories might have saboteurs at work in them?
  • When have saboteurs been quieted in your ministry, leading to better results?
LINK

DOWNLOAD
Session 2 | Overview, Questions, Links & Download
OVERVIEW
By default, most folks tend to think of the “Evangelism Committee” as being synonymous with the “go-get-new-members committee.” In this session, we’ll talk about the heart of evangelism as God’s activity in the world and in our lives, and simple practices that can help you re-ignite a spirit of true evangelism in your congregation. The session will help leaders reframe evangelism as a natural expression of faith and love, rather than a task to be feared or avoided.

Miguel shared a story about Norma Fauci and himself in Mexico City, highlighting how Norma's honesty about being a pastor led to a meaningful conversation with a man who shared his struggles after a divorce.

Matt recounted a conversation with a young man at a bar, who opened up about his struggles with organized religion and his family's brokenness. Matt stressed the importance of listening to build relationships and not just to fix issues. Additional themes that surfaced include:
  • The church needs to be a bridge for people who may not touch religion with a ten-foot pole.
  • We and our members need to feel more comfortable sharing our faith stories and engaging in evangelism.
  • Identify and release the natural evangelists in your congregation. Support them in their efforts.
  • The church should not shy away from addressing mental health issues and should offer companionship and support without judgment.
  • The social divides in the country, emphasizing the need for the church to be a catalyst for love and unity.
  • Evangelism is not proselytizing. The goal is to share the Good News of Jesus, not to convert others. Evangelism is part of discipleship and should not be seen as a task to add to one's "body count" or to prove one's faith.
  • Incorporate storytelling and God-sighting exercises in your congregations.
  • Listening is an essential element of evangelism.
  • Help people become comfortable talking about God's activity and sharing their faith stories.
  • Consider forming teams for outreach at sporting events and community gatherings.
  • Plan de-escalation training for church members involved in public witnessing.
  • Explore using the StoryCorps app for intergenerational interviews within congregations.

QUESTIONS
  • Who are the evangelists in your congregation?
  • When and where do you invite others to share their stories?

LINKS
  • Greater Milwaukee Synod’s Renewal resources + videos
  • Quotes for Mission & Guiding Principles for Mission
  • StoryCorps (NPR)

DOWNLOAD

SESSION 3

The Stories our Bodies are Telling Us:
Listening With our Body, Heart, Mind & Soul 

Rev. Jenny Sung

Session 3 | Overview, Questions & Download
OVERVIEW
Our bodies hold a wisdom and power we rarely tap into. Learn how to lean into the stories our bodies are trying to share with us. Leave with helpful tools to calibrate and regulate stress and anxiety while leading from a grounded place of sureness and authenticity.  A few experiments to consider include:
  • Paying attention to what your body is telling you.
  • Decluttering your calendar involves reviewing  your tasks , meetings , events , and other commitments that make us feel over-scheduled .
  • Giving yourself space in worship to calibrate and breathe.
  • Trying body work like massages, facials, and pedicures to care for your body.
  • Avoid assessing your worth based on what your body produces.
  • Practicing being present in the moment.
  •  Scheduling a body work appointment (e.g. massage, facial, pedicure) in the next 2 weeks.
  • Incorporating moments of pause and embodied practices into worship services.

QUESTIONS
  • How much do you feel in your body right now?
  • What do you hear when you think of the word embodiment?
  • Do you love your body?
  • What gets in the way of listening to your body?
  • How are you doing?
  • What is your fear if you press pause?
  • If your body could tell you one thing right now, what would it be?
  • Do you feel safe? Do you feel security?

DOWNLOAD

SESSION 4

Becoming a Storytelling Congregation:
Integrating Spiritual Storytelling into Ministry 

Rev. Jodi Houge

Session 4 | Overview, Questions, Links & Dowloads
OVERVIEW
Pastor Jodi has helped lead an ELCA new start congregation that made powerful use of storytelling to build community. In this session, we will talk about some concrete ways that storytelling can be woven into congregational life to re- invigorate mission, connect us with each other and God (and even those who don’t go to our church!) in life-giving ways
  • Make storytelling something that occurs in all facets of life, and in all ministry settings.
  • Use scripts and questions to spark storytelling conversations.
  • Explore the work of Mark Yaconelli and consider attending one of his storytelling workshops or trainings.
  • Incorporate personal storytelling into church meetings, committees, or worship services.
  • Consider using an "Affirmation of Baptism" liturgy as a way for people to share their faith stories.
  • Attendees can email Jody with follow-up questions about storytelling techniques.
  • Church leaders are advised to try implementing storytelling techniques in their communities.

QUESTIONS
  • Have you ever had to say no to someone who wanted to share a story that would hijack the event?
  • How many stories make for a good event?
  • How did you get the storytellers?
  • Did you tie that one together with part of the passion story? Or was it only storytelling from people's personal experiences?
  • How do you transfer your stories to online experiences and social media?
  • Is there a challenge theologically or in practice about using affirmation of baptism more for testimonies?

LINKSDOWNLOAD

SESSION 5

SESSION 6

Storytelling and Faith Formation:
Helping Families Share Their Faith Stories 

Rev. Andrea Roske-Metcalfe

Session 5 | Overview, Questions, Links & Downloads
OVERVIEW
Stories make us who we are: the stories we tell about ourselves, our families, our place in the world. Join Andrea Roske-Metcalfe, an ELCA pastor and Moth GrandSlam champion, to think about storytelling as a craft that we can practice (tips & tricks provided!), and about the power of this craft in our homes, our families, and our worshipping communities. Andrea invited participants to:
  • List where stories are already being shared in your congregational settings.
  • Consider that just as people need to read good writing to become better writers, so do storytellers need to observe and learn from those who share engaging stories.

QUESTIONS
  • How to reshape destructive gossip into healthier storytelling platforms?
  • How to encourage storytelling from home to crossover into ministry and vice versa?
  • Are there intersections between storytelling and biblical understanding or theological teaching?
  • How to handle storytelling in public spheres like worship or livestreams?
  • Where is storytelling already happening organically in your community of faith?
  • Where is storytelling happening in families outside of the community of faith?

LINKS
DOWNLOAD
  • Questions for Church Council

Becoming a Storytelling Congregation:
Integrating Spiritual Storytelling into Ministry 

Deacon Mitzie Schafer, CFRE

Session 6 | Overview, Questions, Links & Downloads
OVERVIEW
Learn how to ground your congregation’s generosity in stories of abundance and transformation. Learn when, where and how to tell stories that engage members and invite them into a journey of generosity using in person and online settings.

Key concepts and ideas from Mitzie's presentation include:
  • Decluttering your calendar involves reviewing  your tasks, meetings, events, and other commitments that make us feel over-scheduled.
  • Recognizing that withdrawal language in church communications can negatively impact engagement and giving.
  • Many churches use 80% withdrawal language in their communications, which is counterproductive.
  • Sharing personal stories without proper editing can lead to distracting content.
  • Burying stories in newsletters or emails can result in low engagement rates.
  • Using manipulative tactics or forced storytelling can damage trust and relationships.
  • Security concerns may arise when sharing stories on social media for certain professions.
  • Withdrawal language in church communications can negatively impact engagement and giving.
  • Many churches use 80% withdrawal language in their communications, which is counterproductive.
  • Sharing personal stories without proper editing can lead to distracting content.
  • Burying stories in newsletters or emails can result in low engagement rates.
  • Using manipulative tactics or forced storytelling can damage trust and relationships.
  • Security concerns may arise when sharing stories on social media for certain professions.
  • One story should be shared each month, requiring only 12 stories per year.
  • Choose one consistent day each month for sharing stories.
  • Share stories on the same day via email, social media, and website.
  •  Identify a storytelling team in the congregation.
  • Conduct interviews with congregation members to gather their personal stories.
  • Write the stories using the "donor arc" model and incorporate them into the church's communication channels (email, website, social media).
  • Ensure the church's overall communication strategy is 80% "deposit language" that inspires and creates a "join me" culture.
  • Using a specific story structure (before change, agent of change, after change) for impactful storytelling.
  • Sharing stories through email, social media, and websites to increase engagement and giving.
  • Avoiding "potluck photos" and using portrait-mode photos for better visual storytelling.
  • Choosing story titles carefully to increase email open rates and engagement.

QUESTIONS
  • Ask, "Can you say more about that?" to encourage interviewees to elaborate on their stories.
  • Ask, "Can you say that differently?" which helps interviewees summarize their story coherently.
  • Ask, "Did you want to be there?" which is useful for understanding people's initial motivations for attending church.
  • Ask, "How are things different for you now?" that helps identify the "after the change" part of stories.
  • Ask, "What were you looking for?" which helps identify the "before the change" part of stories.

DOWNLOAD

VIDEOS to watch

TOOLS to use

Use the retreat to Rethink, Reimagine & Reinvent

DESIGN A LIVING WELL PLAN for 2025

DESIGN A LEADING WELL PLAN for 2025

CRAFT A RULE OF LIFE to guide your intentions

A rule of life is a set of intentional guidelines or principles that individuals create to help structure and prioritize their daily lives. It serves as a personal framework to support well-being, personal growth, and the pursuit of meaningful goals. Creating a rule of life involves thoughtful reflection and planning. Here's a general process:

  1. Self-Reflection: Begin by assessing your current life situation, values, and priorities. Consider what areas of your life you want to improve or focus on, such as health, relationships, spirituality, work, or personal development.
  2. Identify Values: Identify your core values and beliefs. What matters most to you? These values will form the foundation of your rule of life.
  3. Set Goals: Define specific, measurable, and achievable goals for each area of your life that you want to address. These goals should align with your values and reflect what you want to accomplish.
  4. Prioritize: Determine the relative importance of each goal and area of your life. Not all goals will carry equal weight, so prioritize them based on your values and what's most pressing.
  5. Create Guidelines: Develop practical guidelines or habits that will help you work toward your goals and live in alignment with your values. These could be daily, weekly, or monthly practices.
  6. Review and Adjust: Periodically review your rule of life to track your progress and make adjustments as needed. Life circumstances change, so your rule of life should be flexible.
  7. Seek Accountability: Share your rule of life with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor who can provide support and hold you accountable to your commitments.
  8. Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that it's normal to face setbacks and challenges. Be kind to yourself and adapt your rule of life as necessary to meet changing needs.
  9. Live with Intention: Embrace your rule of life as a daily guide, striving to live with intention and purpose, working toward your goals, and staying true to your values.

Creating a rule of life is a dynamic process that evolves as your life circumstances change. It helps you remain grounded so that you can do less while doing what truly matters. Your rule of life will most likely include core assumptions about life and yourself, what you hold most dear, and specific practices that help you honor the essence of who you are. 

SAMPLE  LIVING  WELL  ROADMAPS

| Reclaim margins in life

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Acknowledge that I can't do it all. List/prioritize 5 things to let go of this year.
  2. List plans for letting go of item #1.
  3. Rearrange schedule to match my energy levels.
  4. Be home by 8:30pm most evenings.
  5. Build meeting agendas with conveners; do not attend most monthly meetings.
  6. Schedule time for quarterly Sabbath retreats.
  7. Schedule a night every month to connect with friends.
QUESTIONS
  • What time of the day am I most creative?
  • Moving forward, what will I no longer tolerate?
  • How and who can I equip to do the things I don't need to do?
  • What does self-care look like for me, right now?
  • Who can support me in living into my preferred future?
  • What is it costing me and my family if I don't make these changes?

| Lose 10 pounds in 6 months

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Use lunch break to go for a 30-minute walk.
  2. Schedule walk and talk meetings with church leaders.
  3. Drink a 40 ounces of water daily to stay hydrate, reduce sense of hunger.
  4. Avoiding eating during home visits, and after 7:30pm.
  5. Starting and participate in a walking group with church members.
  6. Begin weighing self daily; determine healthy ways to celebrate my weight loss.
QUESTIONS
  • What are the triggers that cause me to eat when I'm not hungry?
  • What impact does stress have on my eating habits?
  • Who models healthy habits that can support me?
  • How will I celebrate my progress in healthy ways?
  • How can I make exercise more playful and fun?
  • How do I need to see myself differently to be act differently?

3 | Make time for hobbies

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Change meetings times so I can participate in monthly book discussion group.
  2. Buy tickets to 5 or more local plays, concerts, or comedy groups.
  3. Attend a broadway performance this year.
  4. Visit local wineries. Take a wine tasting course.
QUESTIONS
  • Which hobbies do I enjoy doing alone?  With others?
  • Who else enjoys some of the same hobbies I like?
  • When and where might I do my favorite hobbies?
  • Why do I always put my hobbies on the back burner?
  • How do my hobbies contribute to my well-being?

4 | Take trips I've deferred for years

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Join friends in biking Wisconsin's Sparta trail.
  2. Rent a cottage along MN's northshore for a weekend.
  3. Go hiking at Joshua Tree after Leading Well Retreat.
  4. Tour Ring Road and Golden Circle in Iceland.
  5. Hike Crater Lake; drive Oregon coast with family..
QUESTIONS
  • With whom do I wish to travel with?
  • Which destinations do I wish to plan first?
  • What kind of vacation/setting would be more renewing/energizing?
  • Are there trips that I can combine with other scheduled events?
  • What would a weekend or week-long staycation look like for me?

5 | Deepen spiritual life and practices

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Schedule monthly meetings with a spiritual director.
  2. Start journaling & practicing Daily Examen at the end of the day..
  3. Register for the November Leading Well Retreat.
  4. Take the Enneagram assessment; explore ways it can help me grow.
  5. Use weekly Sabbath day for rest, renewal and recreation.
QUESTIONS
  • When and where am I most aware of God's presence?
  • Which experiences/practice have been most formative for me in the past?
  • Which practices could I embed into my current routines?
  • Who is, or could be, a spiritual mentor/guide for me?
  • Which part of the day is most suited for reflection/renewal?

6 | Improve my home & financial settings

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Pay off Honda Fit car loan.
  2. Purchase guest bedroom furniture; wall desk for family room.
  3. Use up remaining Nest funds for kid's college expenses.
  4. Contribute maximum IRA amount to retirement plan.
  5. Redesign outdoor patio space; install grills & Solo Stove.
QUESTIONS
  • What's my favorite room in the house?
  • Which rooms energize you?  Drain you?
  • Where in my home do I experience Sabbath moments?
  • Who would I like to have over to my home more often?
  • What are 5 ways I could me our home or inviting, functional, or fun?

7 | Re-engage with friends and family members

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Re-engage with friends and colleagues via Facebook/Instagram.
  2. Pilot 15 minute phone conversations with 3 friends/week.
  3. Explore new small group opportunities at church.
  4. Host/help plan family reunion event.
  5. Invite friends for brunch/dinner once a month).
QUESTIONS
  • What are the top 10 friends I wish to connect with more often?
  • Who are the people that inspire me? Challenge me? Support me?
  • What gets in the way of connecting with those who I love?
  • Who are the people that continue to reach out and connect with me?
  • What do I need right now from the friends I connect with?

8 | Make space for fitness and outdoor activities

FAITHFUL NEXT STEPS
  1. Purchase annual ski pass; ski 12 or more times this year.
  2. Rent kayak rack at Cobblestone; kayak 12+ times this summer).
  3. Participate in a sleep study; focus on better sleeping habits.
  4. Average 7500 steps/day  via rebounder or walking.
  5. Practice 1MAD and 18:6 eating routines.
QUESTIONS
  • Am I likely to be more successful working out at home or at a gym?
  • Which activities do I enjoy that also keep me fit?
  • Which activities could I do more often with my friends?
  • To be fit, what do I need most - rest, exercise, better diet, less stress?
  • Who are, or could be, fitness coaches and mentors for me?

JIM'S 2024 CHANGE ROAD MAP

COACH | TRAINER

  1. Launch Strategic Generosity training/cohort - 01
  2. Launch Living Well & Leading Well cohorts - 02
  3. Launch Leading Well Retreat registration - 03
  4. Set up online events/registration on STS site - 09
  5. Update coaching pathways, publications & website - 12

FRIEND | HOMEOWNER

  1. Invite friends for brunch/dinner once a month - 01
  2. Renovate Kenton's room; use as guest bedroom - 05
  3. Update family room - large TV/Play Station/foosball - 07
  4. Update recording studio and home gym -08
  5. Create fire pit space for Solo Stove - 10

ATHLETE | ACHIEVER

  1. Experiment with ruck sacking/walking 10,000 steps - 04
  2. Develop Work-Life Harmony that prioritizes health - 08
  3. Create home-based exercise routines - 08 (been sporadic)
  4. Bike & kayak regularly during summer months - 08
  5. Purchase Welch Ski Village season pass - 09

ENTREPRENEUR

  1. Meet with VFM Board regarding transitions - 08
  2. Set up LLC for non-VFM coaching & training events - 10
  3. Create short- and long-term coaching pathways - 10
  4. Set up website, registration & email tools for STS - 10-12
  5. Assemble team to regularly partner/collaborate with - 12

STUDENT | SKILLS

  • Launch Familying the Faith podcast - 01
  • Learn Capcut video editing skills - 07
  • Redesign Surface to Soul Youtube Channel - 09
  • Move coaching/training content to STS site - 12
  • Create of Udemy-style online learning modules - 12

EXPLORER

  • Trip to Greece/TURKEY with son, Kenton - 01
  • Trip to Lisbon, Porto, Duoro, and Algarve - 02
  • Spring break trip with Gina to San Francisco - 03
  • Trip to Playa Del Carmen with son, Brett - 07
  • 12: Trip to Costo Rica - Tamarindo, Manuel Antonio, Arenal - 12

JIM'S 2024 HABITS/NORMS ROAD MAP

DAILY NORMS (Rate 1-10, 10=often)
  • Arise @ 5am; check weight; sort emails - 8
  • Complete 10,000 steps; 15-minute workout - 7
  • Post daily on Facebook & Instagram - 2
  • Ask a question/share an affirmation via text - 3
  • Post a picture everyday in Journal app - 5
  • Don't eat until 2pm or after 8pm - 8
  • Go to bed by 10:00pm every night - 2
  • Plan tomorrow the night before - 8
WEEKLY/MONTHLY NORMS (10=often)
  • Review my goals, ideas, and bucket list - 10
  • Plan a 24-hour monthly learning/renewal retreat - 8
  • Fast one day a week (SAT) - 6
  • Review finances/budget/home projects - 8
  • Date night with Gina - 6
  • Read 2 books/week - 7
  • Watch a movie; complete a TV series - 8
  • Create/update 1 chapter in new STS book - 0
QUARTERLY/ANNUAL NORMS (Yes/No)
  • Plan 2 international trips/year - YES
  • Plan quarterly 3-day getaways with friends - 
  • Meet with financial planner & physicians - YES
  • Attend STORY conference (online/in-person) - NO
  • Buy annual ski pass (Welch Village) - YES
  • Host quarterly gatherings with friends - NO
  • Complete 1 or more Skillshare courses each month - YES 
  • Select a country/region I'd like to learn about - YES

Share an idea, resource or question