Powerful Questions

Build your question library

Use questions to evoke new awareness and to deepen friendships

Too often we exchange small talk without really engaging one another. I invite you try the questions here with some friends or strangers, and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised. Feel free to go off on tangents. Allow yourself to let down. your guard, be a little vulnerable, and to give voice some of those dangerous questions that you usually hold back. Use questions to help reveal what matters most to you, and open new paths to intimacy and understanding. Life can be juicy and engaging when we’re grappling with issues we really care about.

May your responses push you beyond a simple “yes” or “no.” Probe and explain your responses. Look into your heart, be honest and brave, and let your mind really play with the difficult choices you find. If you do, these questions will lead you into some intriguing, unexpected, rewarding, even life-changing discussions and explorations. use these questions as a point of departure, not a destination. The more you engage with them, and invited others to do the same. As you explore and challenge your values and those of your friends, you may find that questioning can be more than an entertaining pastime: It can become a way of life!

I hope you use these questions to spark crucial and caring conversations at your church, your work place, and with your neighbors. These questions are designed to deepen connections with one another and to move superficial conversations into ones that build trust, grow faith, and do what matters in our lives.

Questions to deepen CONNECTIONS and discern CALLINGS

WATER Questions to Deepen Friendships

WHERE

Where were you born? Where have you lived in since then?
Where did you go to school? College?
Where did you meet your spouse/partner?
Where are your ancestors from? When did they come to the USA?
Where have you worked in the past? What kind of work did you do?
Where do you think you will be living 10 years from now?

ACTIVITIES

What activities or hobbies do you enjoying doing in your free time?
What clubs or organizations are you currently involved in?
What sports teams do you watch?
What activities are part of family gatherings?
What is one activity you'd like to take up or try on sometime in the future?
Which activities would you like to invest more time in?

TRAVELS

What was one of your favorite family trips when growing up?
What trips are on your bucket list? Where do you think you'll go next?
What have you learned about yourself and other people through your travels?
Do your travel plans tend to be spontaneous or very structured?
Describe one of the most unique experiences you've had while traveling.

EXPERIENCES

What have been some a few of your most memorable experiences in your life?
What experiences in life have shaped your life’s direction?
Which experiences have been most challenging for you?
In what ways have you grown from the challenges in your life?
What experiences have you had related to loss or grief?
What experiences have had the greatest impact on your faith?

RENEWING PEOPLE, PLACES, AND PRACTICES

Which people in your life renew and energize you?
Who brings out God’s best in you?
What places or spaces are most renewing for you and why?
Which practices or activities help you recharge your batteries?
When and where do you experience Sabbath moments?
What grounds you? What reminds you of what is most important in life?

How has God SHAPED You Questions

STRENGTHS

What comes naturally for you?
What do others say that you are good at?
What do you do better than most people?
In what ways are your strengths being used in ministry?

HISTORY

Where were you born?
What were some of your family or faith traditions growing up?
Where did you go to school?
How would you describe your faith journey?

ATTRACTIONS

What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
What activities give you the greatest sense of satisfaction?
What attracted you to your place of employment?
What aspects of your job are life-giving for you?
What do you do and where do you go to get your batteries recharged?

PEOPLE & PLACES

Who has had a significant influence on your life?
To whom do you go to for advice?
Who are the “cheerleaders” in your life?
Who challenges you in your faith journey?
Do you have any spiritual role models? If so, whom?
Where and when have you had the greatest impact on others?

EXPERIENCES

What do you consider to be key turning points in your life?
What life situations have caused the greatest growth for you?
If you could relive your life, what would you do differently?
How would you describe your current prayer life?

DREAMS

What are some of your personal hopes and longings?
How do you see your vision unfolding in life?
Do you have a personal and professional development plan?
What are some of your dreams for where you work or serve?
What's the legacy you wish to leave for others?

Questions to Journal about Your Life

SELF-CARE

DREAMS or LIMITATIONS

CLARIFYING

How can I pamper myself today?
What am I grateful for?
Who can I inspire or bring joy to today?
What will recharge my batteries?
What is fun?
How can I have this be easy?
Who can I get to play with me on this project?
What is grace/serenity?
What makes me laugh?
Do I choose heavy or do I choose light?
How can I make something hard more fun?
How does my physical setting renew me?
What is fulfilling, what feels good, and so what?
What activities in my life bring me pleasure?
What acknowledgment can I give myself today?
What is kindness?
What is it to go softly into life?
What is abundance?
How can I have this be playful and light?
How can I double my vitality?
What will I give myself permission to do today?
When will I take a break today?
What thrills me?
What is it to be awed?
What is it to be generous with myself?
What is it to be gentle with myself?
What am I grateful for today?
What is it to be compassionate?

What do I regret/resent?
What am I unwilling to change?
Where might I be in denial?
What am I overlooking?
Where am I slowing down?
What is the decision I have been avoiding?
Where do I stop short?
What is a big enough game?
What have I wanted to do and haven’t?
What keeps me from winning?
Where have I denied myself/others?
What am I being right about?
What complaint/fear/bad habit/discomfort can I do something about today?
Where am I asleep at the wheel?
What am I settling for?
What will this goal get me?
What am I overlooking?
How do I sabotage myself?
What is it to transcend my sense of failure/sense of resignation/feelings of “I can’t”?
Where am I selling out on myself?
What am I willing/unwilling to change?
What am I stepping over?
What is my reputation?
What do I expect of myself?
Where do I need to offer myself some grace?
Where would I like to be more proactive?
What is ioptimistic/supportable/non-attached?

What is the one thing I could do toreduce worry?
What needs more attention, right now, today?
What needs less attention, right now, today?
How do you silence your negative emotions?
What would make today special for you?
What is your relationship with money? Time? Relatives?
What is going well for you right now?
Where and when are you playing it safe?
What myth about yourself are you trying to keep alive?
How well do I deal with uncertainty?
What do you really believe about asking for help?
What is most important for you to tackle today?
Who makes me jealous? Why?
What are you learning about love?
What’s the most challenging part of love for you?
What’s a question that I need to keep asking myself?
What needs my immediate attention this month?
If success was certain, what steps would you take?
What’s the inner tape I play that needs to be erased?
In a nutshell, what’s the main issue?
What are you not doing that you really need to be doing?
What is the actual problem?
What gets in the way of you doing and bring your best?
What is completion? Where am I incomplete?
What will sacrifice or give up to live my preferred future?
Why am I taking this action? What is it costing me?
In what ways do I need to be more fluid/flexible?

Ask Friends 1 QUESTION A DAY this year

JANUARY

If you were going to someone's house for a dinner party, what would you bring?
Mention one thing you hope you'll never need.
Why do some people not get along with you?
What one food item do you wish was healthy?
If you could be a character in any novel, who would you be?
If you could change one thing about the way you look, what would it be?
What’s the craziest thing you (or your parents) have done?
What outdoor activity do you consider the most dangerous?
What is your favorite kind of candy? Beverage? TV Show?
If you could be on the cover of any magazine, which one would you choose?
What would you like to be remembered for?
What is one cause you’re willing to spend your own time and money on?
What would others learn about you if they lived at your home for a month?
What is your favorite getaway destination?
What is one thing you’d like your family to do more of?
What are some of your family’s unique rituals and traditions?
When was the last time that God was the subject of your conversations?
What’s a habit you’d like to quit? Like to start?
What’s holding you back from being your best self?
What have you learned about yourself and life this past year?
What are ways you see God in another person?
What are the traits that make for a good friend?
Who is the first person you would go to for help? Why?
How do you react when someone compliments you?
What qualities make a person a good listener?
Who or what gives you a sense of belonging?
What do you admire most in a family member?
In what ways are you like your mom? Your dad?
What famous person would you most like to have dinner with?
What are you most passionate about?
What makes a conversation great?

FEBRUARY

What do enjoy talking with others about? Which topics do you tend to avoid? Why?
What are some of your favorite topics to discuss?
What is the most caring thing someone has done for you
What is the most frustrating conversation you've experienced?
When do you feel most at peace?
What do you consider to be the worst possible job? Why?
What movie or book has had a profound influence on you?
What has been your greatest adventure so far?
What is the most significant decision you have ever made?
If you could live during a different time in history, when would it be? Why?
What is the hardest life storm or challenge you have had to deal with?
When is the last time you had to be courageous?
What is something about a friend, family member or work colleague that really bugs you?
What is something you like to do that might be considered shallow, but you do it anyway?
What are some places, things and people you consider to be beautiful?
What is one of the best bits of advice you have ever received?
What is wisdom? Who is the wisest person you know?
What is it that makes a relationship between two people spiritual?
What is the biggest challenge for you in being a friend?
What would you need to know about my family in order to better understand me?
If you were famous, what would you want to be known for?
When have you been the most scared?
In what situations do you find it hard to forgive?
What is one of the biggest challenges you have had to overcome?
Who has taught you the most about God?
What is the biggest choice, change or challenge you are facing right now?
What is it that most annoys you?
What do you want others to know about you based on how you dress and present yourself?
What do you want to be remembered for? What would you like others to say about you?

MARCH

Are you most likely to avoid conflict or face it head on? Why?
What is something about yourself that you hope will never change?
What is something about yourself that you’d like to change but most likely won’t?
Are you more of a rule keeper or rule breaker? Why?
Are you usually late, early, or on time? Why?
What are some goals you’ve set for yourself?
What books or experiences have had the greatest impact on you?
Where are your favorite places to shop?
When’s the last time you pushed yourself physically?
What one word would you use to describe your mother? Father? Family?
Are you a saver or a tosser? Are you a saver or a spender?
Would you rather be liked or respected?
When’s the last time you wanted to scream? Swear? Lie? Throw something?
Would people describe you as controlling? Why or why not?
What bad habits do you wish you could break?
On what things do you spend most of your discretionary money?
What are your favorite sports? What sports do you excel in?
What gets you flustered? What makes you angry?
What are you afraid of? Why?
What things in life are most important to you?
Where would you like to grow your leadership in the next year?
How are you getting in your own way?
What would it take to catch people doing something right?
Are you owning your full potential?
What will you do to protect your priorities?
What are your fondest childhood memories of summer?
What new memories do you want to create this summer?
What will provide you with the greatest source of recreation during this season?
What are the biggest benefits of play and recreation for you?
When is it hardest for you to play?
Who is your model for recreation and play?

APRIL

If you could change places with another person you know, who would it be?
What are some of the earliest memories you have? Are they good or bad?
If you see someone being treated unfairly, how do you respond?
Do you believe in angels?
What do you appreciate most about your siblings? Your family setting?
What life experiences have shaped your values or priorities? Your outlook on life?
What 3-5 adjectives would you use to describe yourself?
What are the three best things that have happened in your life?
What do you think is/was important to your parents?
What one mistake have you learned the most from?
Do you believe that sport heroes should behave as responsible role models?
What’s the most recent conflict you experienced? Did you resolve it?
Who do you think is/was the greatest athlete of all time? Greatest musician?
What’s the hardest emotion for you to express?
What are the five most important objects you own?
What times in your life have you ignored common sense?
When’s the last time you laughed so hard your ribs hurt? What was so funny?
What are your values? Where do they come from?
How would you describe the perfect family? What traits does your family possess?
What are your favorite sounds? Favorite sights? Favorite smells?
What are the things that you and others can do?
What are the things that you can do, but choose not to do?
What are the things that you cannot do and never want to do?
What new information have you gained from the previous four questions?
What will you stop doing and delegate to others?
How will your weekly schedule be different?
What has been the best part of this year so far?
What’s still missing from this year?
What single step or action could you still stake to prepare for this next season?
How could you use the next few weeks to prepare for this next season?

MAY

What aren’t you telling me that’s keeping you stuck?
What healthy boundaries can you estqblish right now?
What three things will you say ‘no” to today?
What makes your heart sing?
What is the one thing you feel really good about from this past week?
What is the legacy that you want to leave behind?
What do you really believe about yourself?
What internal rules and unspoken standards are having a negative impact on you?
What beliefs and assumptions no longer serve you?
Do what you already know you need to do?
Who are the people you know that help you see the glass as half full, instead of half empty?
Who do you remind yourself of?
What’s possible today? What is God’s dreams for your life?
What kind of challenges and problems do you repeatedly attract?
What would life be like without anger?
Who can you forgive today?
What needs immediate attention, right now, today?
When was God most real to you today?
Who or what is the source of most of your stress?
What are healthy sources of energy?
What would make the biggest difference in your life today?
What would it take for you to teat yourself like your best friend?
What working for you?
What kind of problems and crisis do you keep attracting?
What do you continually do that limits your success?
What thoughts or messages are repeatedly playing in your head?
How much of a people pleaser are you?
What’s God’s deepest desire for you? Your church?
What would you do differently if this problems was solved?
What’s served you well in the past? Is it still serving you well?
What the “should” in this situation?

JUNE

What can you do to communicate more effectively?
How can you be a better friend?
If a friend were in a similar situation as you, what would you suggest
What would it take to create the change you want?
If success was a certainty, what next steps would you take?
What’s taking shape? What’s beginning to emerge?
What is your secret ambition?
What does your ideal living environment include?
Where have you been giving your power to others?
What would enough look like?
In a nutshell, what’s the main issue?
How do you add stress to your life and complicate things?
If you knew that people would follow your leadership, where would you be going?
What are you pretending not to know?
What’s your favorite way of sabotaging yourself?
What do you want more of? What do you want less of?
What keeps you from hearing the still small voice of the Divine?
What would cause you to jump with joy with week?
What more could you accomplish if you lowered your standards?
Who are you willing to trust with your hopes and your dreams?
What would be different if you really believed Psalm 139
When is it hardest for you to take _____ seriously?
What new and creative ways has sabotage begun showing up?
What’s your belief about money and how well is that currently working for you?
What pearls of wisdom have you sharing with others?
What’s not complete yet?
What’s on the back burner that needs to be placed on the front burner?
What are you doing, really?
What is God inviting you to be part of today?
What’s the real problem?

JULY

Talk about one of the Ten Commandments that reveals something important to you.
Tell about an experience that changed your life.
What gives you a sense of wonder and awe? Why?
When during the day do you feel closest to God? Why?
Tell of a difficult time in your life.
What effect does nature have on your faith?
How has your involvement in a faith community changed you?
Whose faith story do you want to hear? Why?
What piece of music says something about your faith? In what way?
Does God enter into your decision-making? If so, in what way?
Tell about a change that brought a new chapter in your life.
What is the one trait of your mother or father you value the most?
When you hear the phrase, “Love thy neighbor,” what does it mean to you?
How has your faith changed since you were a child?
Is going to communion meaningful to you? Why or why not?
What is one of your greatest fears? Why?
What is one of the things you treasure in life? Why?
What do you often find yourself praying about?
What does “following in the way of Jesus" mean to you?
What does the phrase “In everything give thanks” mean to you?
What was your earliest experience of God?
Who can help you with what you really want?
What was the best day of your life?
What is keeping your from having hope?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What’s the life that you keep telling yourself?
What has to happen in order for you to be in the zone?
When is it hardest for you to say no?
What are your yearning for but haven't receive?
Which negative "tapes" do you keep replaying in your mind?
What was the best day of our your life?

AUGUST

What do you want to be when you grow up?
What’s th elite that you keep telling yourself?
What has to happen in or
What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned”
If you gave up worrying, what would it be like?
What really matters?
How would you know if you’re in a disempowering relationship?
What have you outgrown? What’s your heart telling you?
What do you need to say goodbye to in order to move forward?
What is the decision that you’re avoiding?
What keeps you up at night?
What is playing it safe costing you, and what is it costing others?
What are you learning about God so far this year?
What’s your ripple effect?
When are you most likely to become defensive?
What is your track record regarding love – really?
What steps can you take so that your words and actions match?
What Des getting more organized mean to you?
What can you do to be more effective this month?
What’s the one question that you need to be asking yourself this month?
What needs your immediate attention going forward this month?
What does your body need to thrive and be healthy?
What are you hanging ton to that you could release?
What rules do you have that keep getting in the way?
How have you experienced God’s abundant love today
What new ways do you need to move forward this month?
What does your body need to thrive and be healthy?
What are you hanging on to that you need to release?
What rules do you have that keep getting in the way?
What can you do to show that you really care?

SEPTEMBER

How will our culture change in the next 100 years?
When you were young what did you want to be when you grew up?
Describe a spiritual journey you go on or participate in?
What life experience has strengthened you the most?
If you owned a boat what name would you choose for it?
When did your family come to America and from where?
Would you rather be a great musician, artist, or athlete?
What’s your favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner?
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10=awesome), how would you rate your church?
What memories come to mind when you have of Sunday school ?
Do you remember anyone ever praying for you? What was the occasion?
Which parent had the most influence on your faith development? How?
What pastor have you felt the closest to in your life? Why?
What is something you dislike about church? Why?
What's one thing you'd like to change in the world?
What do you wish you could change about your physical appearance?
If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
Which room in your home is your sanctuary?
Where in the world would you live to have a vacation home?
If you could be fluent in one other language, which would it be?
What myth about yourself are you trying to keep alive?
How well do you deal with uncertainty?
What do you really believe about asking for help?
How can you take better care for yourself right now, today?
In what ways has God been generous to you?
What is most important for you to tackle today?
What’s the inner tape yo play when you find it hard to say “no?”
Who makes you jealous? Why?
What are you learning about love?
What’s the most challenging part of love for you?
What’s your definition of the perfect partner?

OCTOBER

What’s your definition of your best year ever?
What part of this upcoming year most troubles you?
What good financial practice will you put into place this year?
What part of this upcoming year is most exciting?
What part of this past year do you wish to bring forward to this year
What did you learn this past year?
What part of last year do you wish to leave behind?
Who was your biggest fan last year?
What’s the best use of your time and energy this coming year?
What’s the one skill you need to master/further develop this coming year?
What behavior do you need to keep doing? Stop doing? Start doing?
What will you no longer tolerate?
What is the spiritual practice you are most committed to?
What does an experience of God feel like?
What would dramatically increase your experience of God?
When has worrying paid off for you?
What is the one thing you could do to drastically reduce worry?
What needs more attention, right now, today?
What needs less attention, right now, today?
What causes you to laugh out loud with rib splitting laughter?
What habit of yours would you like to pass on to others?
What habits of yours do you hope never get passed on to others?
How do you silence your negative emotions?
What would make today special for you?
What in you life or ministry is worthy of celebration?
What do you want most from your friends and family?
If you were free of self-doubt, what would be different today?
What is your relationship with money? Time? Relatives?
What is going well for you right now?
What suggestions would you give someone who wants t have more fun?
Where and when are you playing it safe?

NOVEMBER

What kind of person would you be if you were driven by passion?
What dream have you long since given up on?
What’s the leap of faith you need to take?
Which tasks, at work and home, would you like to give to someone else?
What’s the worst thing that could happen if you did less?
Why is it so much easier to plan than to take action?
What is the hardest part about delegating?
Who’s is someone you would love to have on our team, but you haven’t asked yet?
What’s the hardest part about delegating?
When do you procrastinate, and why?
Who makes you jealous?
If you really dared to dream, what would your life look like?
What can you hand off?
What’s your most treasured memory of Easter?
What would be possible if you had a team?
How is being stuck serving you, and what is it costing you?
What if your assumptions are wrong?
Whose life are you living?
When do you enjoy others the most?
When do you enjoy yourself the most?
What do you really, really want?
What’s perfect about today?
What are you waiting for?
What has changed the most so far for you this year?
What still needs to happen in order for this to be your best year ever?
What is your favorite phrase or saying?
What or who gives you the courage to go on?
What are your beliefs about what you really want?
What is only now beginning to unfold in your life?
What really empowers you?

DECEMBER

What does your body, mind or soul need right now?
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
What brings your life joy?
What do you want to start doing?
What do you want to keep?
What’s perfect about this season?
What are the best ways for you to experience the sacred in daily life?
How different would life be without defensiveness?
What has to happen for you to be free of long-standing anger?
Who has contributed to your success?
What other choices do you have?
What gifts do you have to share?
What does a great friendship look like?
What was missing for you this year?
What are you sowing? What are you reaping?
How curious are you? How do you learn best?
What or who inspires you?
What or who gives you courage in uncertain times?
Who can you catch today doing something right?
What would you like to be doing five years from now?
What will you commit to doing, and by when?
What limitations might you be placing on your dreaming and planning?
In what area of life you do you want to have more fun?
If you had the ability to instantly change in the New year, what would you change?
What key things still need to happen this year?
Which of your current beliefs do you need to rethink, or let go of?
What do you want to be different next year?
What’s one word you’d use to describe this past year?
Who are the individuals that have contributed the most to your well-being?
Who are you willing to trust with your hopes and dreams?
What were the most memorable moments from this past year?

If you could live during a different time in history, when would it be? Why?
When is a time you had to be courageous?
What is the greatest challenge in being your age?What is the greatest joy?
What activity or cause are you passionate about?
What’s something you like to do that others may consider to be shallow?
What advice have you passed on to your children
Would you give your parents?
What is wisdom? Who is someone you consider to be wise?
What is it that makes a relationship between two people spiritual?
If you were famous, what would you want to be known for?
In what circumstances is it hard for you to forgive others?
Who has taught you the most about God?
What is the biggest choice, change or challenge you are facing right now?
What is it that most annoys you?
What movie or book has had a profound influence on you?
What do you want to be remembered for when you die?
What has been one of your most significant decisions you've made?

Ask golfers one question per HOLE to deepen friendships

FRONT NINE QUESTIONS

Describe your family members.
What are your favorite family memories?
What are you most proud of in your life so far?
What do you like to do in your free time?
What’s been the best day of your life?
What skill would you like to master (besides golf)?
If you could add one room to your home, what would it be?
What three things would you like to accomplish in the next ten years
Who's had the biggest impact on your life? Faith? Career path?

BACK NINE QUESTIONS

What would you hope people would say at your funeral?
Who are your favorite actors, musicians and comedians?
What’s the most beautiful place you’ve seen? Describe it.
What’s a concern or challenge you’re facing right now?
What are three of your favorite restaurants? Or, what do you like to read?
What do other people say that you’re good at?
If you had to move to another state where would you go?
If you could live your life over, what would you do differently?
If you could drive any car of your choice for one year, what would it be?

Capture people's stories using these phrases

Share about your LIFE & FAITH

My full name is . . .
I was named after . . .
I was born in ____________________ on (day) . . .
Places I have lived include . . .
A favorite “growing up” memory is . . .
The high school I graduated from was called . . .
I attended college at _______________________ and majored in . . .
I currently work at _________________________ as a . . .
A person who has greatly influenced my faith is . . .
Turning points/milestones in my faith journey include . . .
Next steps for growing in my faith are . . .
I’m most aware of God’s presence in my life when . . .
Some of my God-given gifts/strengths are . . .
Ways I practice my faith at home include . . .
Two highs in my life include . . .
Two lows in my life include . . .
Two things that concern me right now include . . .
Two people who have influenced my life include . . .
Two experiences that have changed my life include . . .
Two causes I support include . . .
I want to learn more about . . .
I am most annoyed by people who . . .
If money were no object, I’d spend my time . . .
I’m at my best when . . .
I admire people who . . .
I want to be remembered for . . .

Share about your VALUES & BELIEFS

Two people that have had a profound impact on my faith include . . .
Turning points in my faith journey include . . .
Some ways that I practice my faith every day include . . .
Some ways we practice faith as a family include . . .
Next steps in my faith journey include . . .
People who currently support me in growing as a Christian include . . .
The most meaningful portions of the worship experience for me are . .
My favorite Bible story is _________ because . . .
The Bible character I most identify with is because . . .
The fruits of the Spirit that are most present in my life are . . .
The most challenging thing about living out my faith is . . .
What I most need from my congregation to help me practice faith is . . .
Individuals from our congregation that inspire me to grow as a Christian include . .
Places where I’m most aware of God’s presence include . . .
Causes I support as expressions of my faith include . . .
An experience that changed my life was when . . .
Two strengths or gifts of mine include . . .
I help bring out the best in others by . . .
Some things I do to make others feel welcome at our congregation is . . .
I think God is calling me to . . .
Some ways that Jesus makes a difference in my life is . . .
Some ways that I encourage others to grow in their faith include . . .
My favorite event sponsored by the congregation is . . .
For me, to be a follower of Christ means . .
I want to be remembered for . . .