1 | What Coaching Is & Isn't

Mentoring is the process of guiding another person along a path that the mentor has already traveled. This guidance occurs when a mentor shares his or her own experiences and learnings. The underlying premise is that the insight and guidance of the mentor can accelerate the learning curve of the one being mentored. There are times when it may seem logical for the coach to play the role of a mentor. One of the things that clients often value from their coach is when the coach shares advice and experience, when asked for and when appropriate. I rarely move into this role unless a client appears to be stuck and may benefit from learning about a new option or approach. In these cases, I may reply by saying something like, “Would you be interested in what other individual organizations have done in similar situations?” When people are new to coaching, I recommend that they refrain from offering advice because it’s so easy, and tempting, to move into advice-giving and “fixing” another person’s problem, which may confuse them about a coach's role,  and or may disempower clients from finding their own solutions.

While there are tremendous benefits to coaching, the same is true of therapy, consulting, and mentoring. All are of value. Coaches recognize and appreciate the important contributions that therapists, consultants, and mentors make to the ongoing success of those we coach. It’s not unusual that the people you coach will also be using the services of a therapist, consultant, or mentor.

There are two questions that come to mind when considering the distinction between coaching and consulting:  Who is the recognized expert and who is responsible for the outcome?

• In consulting, the recognized expert is the consultant. Most people work with a consultant because they believe that the consultant's expertise will benefit them or their organization. The consultant helps diagnose problems and may prescribe a set of solutions. 
• In coaching, the recognized expert is the person or team being coached. 
• Coaching assume that the client is capable of generating their own solutions.

The role of the coach is to provide a discovery-based framework that honors the expertise of the person being coached. Author and coach, Felix Villanueva, reminds coaches that the biggest contribution they often make with their clients is repeating three simple words: "I don't know." By being open to not knowing,  a coach launches the client forward, as they tap into their own wisdom and web of resources. When addressing a challenge, consider who is responsible for the outcome. When people hire a consultant, they usually expect to a desired outcome. By following the consultant's advice, their client will achieve their desired outcome. In contrast, a coach empowers the one being coached to do the work and be responsible for the outcome. The client, the person being coached, designs their own plans and action steps. The role of a coach is to create a framework for constructive conversations that lead to new awareness and action, but the coach is NOT responsible for the outcome.

The easiest way to begin to understand the process of coaching is to envision or actually experience a coaching conversation. You’ll find that almost every coaching session will include a series of five sequential steps:

1. What would you like to talk about? This question identifies the general theme or topic for conversation. It narrows the scope of what will be discussed during the session and reminds the client that they are in charge.
2. What would you like to “take away” from today’s session? The goal is not just to have a great conversation, but also to have one that moves people forward in tangible ways. I refer to these as the “deliverables” that help reveal that coaching makes a difference.
3. Are we still talking about what’s most important to you? It’s easy to get sidetracked and enter into conversations that have little or nothing to do with what the client originally wanted to talk about. Mindful that the client is in charge, coaches periodically check to see if they’re still addressing the client’s most important issues.
4. What will you say or do this week to act on your intentions? Experienced coaches help clients take action within a certain time period. Without specific timelines, actions items turn into nice-sounding intentions.
5. Who can support you or hold you accountable? Coaches build accountability into the process. They help clients envision who else might be a resource or source of wisdom.

To wrap up a coaching session, a coach may ask the client to share what was most helpful from the conversation or to summarize action items that come out of the conversation. If the coaching relationship is ongoing, a coach will confirm when the next session will be held.