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For more information about VFM . . .A FRAMEWORK FOR CREATING A CULTURE OF VIBRANT FAITH

The majority of Vibrant Faith Ministries’ coaching involves helping congregations integrate the principles and practices that foster a culture of vibrant faith. What this vibrant faith culture looks like is summed up in  our Vibrant Faith Frame where one is invited to think of church as being set in two locations - home and congregation. Although there are programmatic elements built into this unique vision, it's more than just another church program. The Vibrant Faith Frame uses the Six Places for shaping faith, informed by the Five Principles for passing on faith, to practice the Four Keys which result in people living a vibrant faith that is authentic, available and affirming. Below is an overview summary of the Vibrant Faith Frame.

The SIX PLACES for shaping faith
The Six places of Ministry acknowledge that the work of the people of God is everywhere. It names the arenas where our incarnational God—the God disclosed in Jesus who enters the world as fully embodied and unconditionally part of creation — enters into our lives with grace, mercy, and peace. The places listed below describe where God's presence is among us and where we may practice our faith everyday, everywhere, with everyone:

Children and youth
Homes
Congregations
Community
Culture
Creation

The FIVE PRINCIPLES for passing on faith
These principles describe how faith is formed and passed on from one generation to another.  They describe the essence of the church and what it means to be part of the body of Christ. Listed below are the principles:
Faith is formed by the power of the Holy Spirit through personal trusted relationships—often in our own homes.
The church is a living partnership between the ministry of the congregation and the ministry of the home.
Where Christ is present in faith, the home is church, too.
Faith is caught more than it is taught.
If we want Christian children and youth, we need Christian adults.

The FOUR KEYS for practicing faith
The Four Keys of caring conversation, devotions, service, and rituals and traditions are ways to practice the means of grace that extend God’s love and saving work to the world on a daily basis. These keys not only strengthen the faith lives of individuals and communities within households, they also serve as the means to strengthen congregational vitality through healthy, nurturing, faithful homes.  Each faith practice is described below:

CARING CONVERSATION
Caring conversations express an interest in others, their hurts, their joys, their concerns and dreams, their values and faith. Caring conversations require time to be available to listen and to speak. Congregations are encouraged to help families identify the holy ground of their lives where precious, caring conversations take place and where lives are strengthened and nurtured by the love and mercy of God through the support, guidance and genuine interest in others.

DEVOTIONS
A devotional life is a way to practice the presence of God through the word of God. Many families and individuals need help with the language of prayer and faith in daily life. A devotional life is more of a consciousness and way of life than a formula to accomplish a certain task. Family devotions connect the generations with faith, hope and love in a world that speaks and operates on a different basis than the gospel of Jesus Christ.

SERVICE
Service to one’s neighbor is the calling we are given through the life and message of Jesus Christ. For a Christian, service is motivated out of love that we have first received from God. Service communicates that love to others and is a concrete expression of one’s own faith and values. Family service projects have been shown to be a vital way to pass on faith from generation to generation. Children and youth are greatly influenced by what they see in the lives of others, especially parents and other family members.

RITUALS AND TRADITIONS
Rituals and traditions are those patterns of behavior that occur on a routine basis and communicate meaning in life. The way people greet one another each day, a table grace, bedtime prayers, the blessing of a Christmas tree, a birthday or baptismal anniversary celebration are all examples of family rituals and traditions that can effectively communicate the good news of Jesus Christ.

The Four Key faith practices offer simple and succinct ways to embody God’s reign in the world every day, everywhere. The good news shapes the conversations we have, defines what we are devoted to, motivates us to serve others, and informs our rituals and traditions that reinforce the values and priorities of God’s reign of grace, mercy, and peace in Christ.

Triple-A Christians
The Christian lives affirming that God is alive and well blessing, serving, and gifting lives, doing God’s work on earth today. Hence, we describe Christians as AAA: 1) Authentic, 2) Available and 3) Affirming.  These individuals understand their faith as "under construction" and view faith formation as a life long process where the work of the Spirit continues to mold them and guide them.  The following chapter will address what it means to be authentic, available and affirming. A brief summary of each trait is listed below:  

BEING AUTHENTIC
Christians seeking to be authentic walk the talk. They worship regularly, pray daily and integrate the Four Keys into all aspects of their lives. The decisions they make are informed by their faith in Jesus Christ and the values they hold dear.  They know that they are forgiven by God and, in turn, forgive others.  They live with a sense of humility, grace, wonder and playfulness, and their words and actions are expressions of God's love.  

BEING AVAILABLE
Christians who are available begin by being fully present to God.  They wonder what God is up to in their life and discern how God might best use them.  They also make themselves available to others, taking time to listen, learn, reflect, celebrate and ask questions.

BEING AFFIRMING
Christians seeking to be affirming experience God's grace and unconditional love for them. They embrace being children of God and remind others that they, too, are beloved by God and are precious in God's sight.  They also take time to celebrate the gifts God has given them, discern their calling in life, and help others do the same.

Living as AAA Christians

“Faith is formed by the power of the Holy Spirit through personal, trusted relationships,
often in our own homes.”
- David Anderson & Paul Hill, Frogs Without Legs Can’t Hear

“To refer to the Church as a building is to call people 2 x 4's.”
- Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical

Most of us can name the individuals who inspire us in our life and faith journeys. They have a way of bringing out the best in others and finding ways to make God the subject of their conversations.  They are aware of God's presence in their life and point others to Jesus through their words and actions. They regularly model the characteristics AND spiritual practices of being authentic, available and affirming.

An elderly woman by the name of Myrtle comes to mind for me.  Myrtle was a retired elementary school teacher who was passionate about children and youth.  She used to stand outside the main entrance of a congregation I served and look for anyone under 48 inches tall. She would greet these young people, introduce herself to them and offer them a small treat.  In the process, she’d get to know their names, learn about their family members and find out their interests. Then she’d remind them that  she would be praying for them during the week, and that she’d be looking for them the following Sunday.  As her Sunday morning ritual continued, we’d hear comments from parents stating, “We thought about skipping worship this morning but our kids told us that we had to go so they’d get to see Myrtle.”

Myrtle was one of those individuals who practiced being authentic, available and affirming.  She modeled what it meant to be a life-long learner who practiced her faith everyday, everywhere.  I remember thinking, “I wish we could clone her” because of the way she impacted so many young people’s lives. We knew that wasn’t an option, but we could encourage every member to be a “Myrtle” in their own way.  

THE PRACTICE OF BEING AUTHENTIC
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we we're supposed to be and embracing who God made us to be.  The foundation for being authentic is understanding that we are children of God who are loved unconditionally by our Creator. It leads us to name our imperfections and have the courage to be vulnerable.

Being authentic shows up when we:
Share our joys and sorrows; our dreams and disappointments; our achievements and our challenges
Invite people into our homes even when it has that unkept, ‘lived in” look
Wear clothing that we’re comfortable in but may not be fashionable
No longer pretend that everything is okay when it isn’t
Open ourselves to being attacked or criticized when leading
Voice unpopular opinions or confront inappropriate behavior
Turn off the mental tapes that try convince us that we’re not good enough
Quit making decisions based on how others will perceive us
Acknowledge that life is messy and imperfect
Step out of our comfort zones, refusing to play it safe
Choose to be real rather than liked
View everyone as a beloved child of God

Being authentic gives us permission to experience and express a full range of emotions - from joy to sadness, from love to anger, and from hope to disillusionment. It’s when we refuse to numb the pain that often comes with many of these emotions.  In a Ted Talk presentation on Vulnerability, Brene Brown shares that when we numb pain, we also numb our capacity to experience joy.  She challenges her audience to live “wholeheartedly,” having the courage to reveal our true self.

Practicing authenticity is not about being right, it’s about being real. It’s not about having the license to say things that are hurtful to people but rather to speak truth in ways that are clear. honest and life-affirming. Choosing to be authentic can be both life-giving and life-draining. It can be a liberating experience when we express our real selves to others without pretenses - in essence to let it all hang out. It can be exhausting when we resist what society tells us what we should think, buy, behave, believe and value. There is a risk in putting our true self out in the world but there's an even greater risk in hiding ourself and our gifts to the world. Authentic people speak their truth - not swallow it.

One of the roadblocks for people seeking to be authentic is perfectionism. When we choose perfectionism, we buy into the belief that our worthiness is connected to how perfect we live, look and act. Our perfectionism becomes a shield that prevents others from seeing who we really are. Our perfectionistic tendencies often show up in our language when we say things such as:
I need to lose 10 pounds
I should have known better than to . . .
I have to spend more time  . . .
I ought to sign up for . . .

One of my favorite quotes is from Anna Quindlen where she states, “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”  When we choose to be authentic, we give ourselves permission to be imperfect, to be transparent, to be unique, and to be who God made us to be.
 
A key element in the practice of being authentic involves living into one’s vocation or calling. The idea of vocation is central to the Christian belief that God has created each person with gifts and talents oriented towards specific purposes and a way of life.  Living into our Christian vocation challenges us to use our God-given gifts in our profession, our family life, our congregation and our community for the sake of the greater common good. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “Love is the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.”  Living into our vocation is about learning to be an expression of God’s love everyday, everywhere, with every person.

Living into our vocation is about participating in the priesthood of all believers. In Volume 6 of Luther’s Works, the reformer declares that “Through baptism we all have been ordained priests.”  As priests, we are charged with praying for others, proclaiming the word, confessing our sins to each other, and sharing the love of Christ wherever we go. It’s how we live as children of God.  Living into our vocation is a spiritual discernment process where we first understand that we are called to ENJOY God’s presence in and among us, and then are sent into this world to DEPLOY our God-given gifts, talents, life experiences and passions for the sake of the kingdom.  

Experiences that have helped me discern my vocation and identity in Christ include meeting with spiritual directors, taking monthly retreats at a local catholic monastery, participating in a “Discover Who You Are” LifeKeys course at my home congregation and then helping others discern their uniqueness in Christ.  I’ve been blessed with many spiritual mentors and faith parents throughout my life who have helped me discover and develop my gifts, identify my passions and pursue my callings. I invite you to consider what individuals, experiences or settings might support your efforts in living into your vocation.

If you’re a golfer, you know when your club head connects perfectly with the ball.  It just feels right and typically the distance and direction of the ball proves it as well. My goal as a golfer is to  hit this “sweet spot” as many times as possible throughout a round of golf.  In life, I also try to connect as frequently as possible with my “sweet spot” where I’m doing the right work, with the right people, in the right place, at the right time. By focusing on our “sweet spots” we are able to live more fully into our vocation. This is what John Ortberg calls, “living in the flow.” In the Leadership Toolkit portion of this workbook, you’ll find a form called “How Has God Shaped You” (Tool # 1)  This is a form that I use regularly - both for personal reflection and as a tool for getting to know and better understand the gifts and graces of my colleagues in ministry.

THE PRACTICE OF BEING AVAILABLE
A number of years ago, I attended a community organizing training event in Chicago through the Gamaliel Institute.  As part of the training we had to sit down, 1-on-1 with other participants, and learn each other’s backgrounds and stories. What started out as a relatively stiff and awkward exercise quickly grew into very meaningful and authentic encounters with each other.  By the end of the week, we knew each other’s ups and downs in life, their beliefs and values, and their hopes and dreams.  A fellow commented at the end of the training that, “I know the people in this room better and my own family members – but that’s going to change!”  His action plan upon returning home was to take his wife out for a leisurely date and start asking her some questions he never bothered to ask beforehand.  He was going to meet 1-on-1 with his direct reports – not to just discuss their business plans but also to learn about their backgrounds and family members.  He was going to start having meaningful exchanges with bank tellers and grocery store clerks that, by his own admission, he had rarely ever made eye contact with.

To be present is far from being a trivial task. It’s one of the It hardest assignments I was given while in college. Some of the questions I was asked by the spiritual director I met with during college included:
In what circumstances, and with whom, are you able to be fully present?
Do you know others who maintain a high degree of being present?
What prevents you from this state of attentiveness?
What techniques do you use for being fully present?
Are you fully present now?

Being available to others involves practicing being fully present as Jesus was with the woman at the well.  A pastor I know closes their team meetings with the phrase, "Wherever you are, be there." A pastor I coach recently commented, "I wonder how far can I stretch myself before I’m no longer there?"  Being available for others requires establishing adequate margins in our life to ensure that we're not rushed and preoccupied. It requires letting go of the pride we exhibit when talking about how busy we are, as if our busyness is a reflection of our self-worth.  It requires slowing down to the speed of life so that we can find moments of sabbath - to be refreshed, reenergized and centered in what God is calling us to be and do.  If you struggle with what to invite into to your life and what lot let go of, consider reading the book, Repacking Your Bags: Lighten Your Load for the Rest of Your LIfe, by Richard Leider and David Shapiro.  For further insights, complete the “Taking Time for Sabbath Checklist” (Tool # 2) found in the Leadership Toolkit.

THE PRACTICE OF BEING AFFIRMING
Being an affirming presence in the lives of others begins with internalizing God's message of unconditional love for us. Only when we embrace God’s unconditional love for us can we extend that same message of grace to others.

A family birthday tradition we recently began includes reading an abbreviated version of Henry Nouwen’s thoughts on the significance of birthdays found below:
 
“Birthdays need to be celebrated because to celebrate a birthday means to say to someone thank you for being you.  Celebrating a birthday is exalting life and being glad for it. On a birthday we do not say ‘thanks for what you did or said or accomplished’ no, we say ‘thank you for being born and being among us’. On birthdays we celebrate the present.
We do not complain about what happened or speculate about what will happen but we lift someone up and let everyone say ‘we love you’.  Celebrating a birthday reminds us of the goodness of life and in this spirit we really need to celebrate people’s birthdays every day by showing gratitude, kindness, forgiveness, gentleness and affection. These are ways of saying ‘it’s good that you are alive’; ‘it’s good that you are walking with me on this earth’,
let’s be glad and rejoice. This is the day that God has made for us to be and to be together.’”

Dr. Stephen Lundin, a professor of mine and co-author of the book and video, FISH, used to show this same video in our business class to help students learn how to energize and engage customers by using the four basic messages taught to every employee at Seattle’s Pike’s Place Fish Market:
Play!
Be there
Choose your attitude
Make their day

Take a break from this workbook to view the hilarious and insightful FISH video footage on Youtube and then consider what might happen if every Christian, began their morning with a prayer like this:
     “Dear Jesus, help me to be fully present for each person I encounter.  Give me a spirit of
     playfulness, an attitude of gratitude and a servant’s heart. Show me how I can be a
     blessing to others and a source of hope and inspiration.”

I often wonder how the church might be perceived differently if we gave more than lip service to those same messages.  I think our congregations need to become more like the “Cheers” bar where there are people who know our names and are genuinely glad to see each other.

After walking “Joey,” our neighbor’s dog, my youngest son said to me one day, “People need to be more like Joey” He was referring to how dogs race up to people, wagging their tales, obviously excited to be in the presence of others. Every time I read the Prodigal Son story I’m challenged to consider how I might be filled with a generous and welcoming spirit, extending unconditional love to others. Take a moment to view the “33 Easy Ways To Affirm Others” form (Tool #3)  and explore ways to expand your capacity to affirm others.

Vital congregations are made up of people who possess and practice vibrant faith.  The change we desire for our congregations begins when we personally commit to living as AAA Christians who practice being authentic, available and affirming in our daily encounters.  Living as AAA Christians is something we work towards everyday but never fully achieve. The hope is that these practices will permeate our homes, our work settings and in our communities.   These practices will help sustain an environment where the Spirit blows through our lives. May we celebrate when they’re fully present in our words and actions, and may we offer grace to ourselves and others when they seem lacking.

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Questions to Ponder
Who were the “Myrtles” in your life that were authentic, available and affirming for you?
Who are the “Myrtles” in your congregation?  What exactly do they do?  How might we learn from them?
What do you need to pay closer attention to in order to be a AAA presence in other people’s lives?
What are some ways your congregation could become more like the “Cheers” bar where everyone knows your name?