March 11th, 2024
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By Jim LaDoux
Two my favorite books to read on lowering people's level of anxiety include Edwin Friedman's book, A Failure of Nerve, and Steve Cuss's book titled, Managing Leadership Anxiety. Listed below are a few of my insights on anxiety based on these two books.
1 | The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change.
2 | A major criterion for judging the anxiety level of any society is the loss of its capacity to be playful.
3 | When you accept the mantle of leadership, expect there to be slings and arrows.
4 | The grass is only greener when you're not caring for your own lawn.
5 | Stay connected while changing yourself rather than trying to fix others.
6 | The pursuit of data is addicting. Collecting more data allows people to delay decisions.
7 | One of the major limitations of imagination’s fruits is the fear of standing out.
8 | Striving or achieving success as a leader isn't without pain or loss.
9 | Quick fixes prevent leaders from doing the hard work that's necessary to create new realities.
10 | Concentrate on helping leaders to become better defined and to deal adroitly with the sabotage.
- What are some indicators of a person's willingness to change?
- What are some typical tactics people employ to suggest that they're willing, to change?
2 | A major criterion for judging the anxiety level of any society is the loss of its capacity to be playful.
- How often to people laugh, share a joke, or are playful at current church meetings?
- What other approaches do you use to lesson people's anxiety?
- Do you feel that playfulness and creativity are related?
3 | When you accept the mantle of leadership, expect there to be slings and arrows.
- Why are leaders often surprised by the behavior's of others upon resistance to ideas or new approaches?
- What types of guidelines or rules are helpful to have in place before having consequential conversations?
- How do you prepare yourself to be the receiver of people's slings and arrows?
4 | The grass is only greener when you're not caring for your own lawn.
- What would caring for your own lawn look like in your own setting?
- How do you help people see "what is" and "what's present" rather than what's missing?
- How do you help people focus on what they can do rather than belabor what they can't do?
5 | Stay connected while changing yourself rather than trying to fix others.
- What is your default mode when responding to people who react out of anxiety?
- What are some strategies you employ for being a less anxious presence in the midst of people's anxiety?
- How do you stay close and engaged with people who are difficult to deal with?
6 | The pursuit of data is addicting. Collecting more data allows people to delay decisions.
- How do you know when enough information is enough?
- How do you know if you've gathered the right information from the right sources?
- How do you help people make informed decisions without having all the facts on hand?
7 | One of the major limitations of imagination’s fruits is the fear of standing out.
- When's the last time you stuck your neck out, took a stand, or suggested a new way forward?
- What's the worst thing that could happen if others challenged your motives, decision-making, or new ideas?
- What would leading by proposal look like for you? What proposals would you invite others to consider?
8 | Striving or achieving success as a leader isn't without pain or loss.
- What kind of support systems do you have in place to weather the challenges of being a leader?
- Who are your mentors and roles models? Who else helps you be a person of influence?
9 | Quick fixes prevent leaders from doing the hard work that's necessary to create new realities.
- What's the difference between technical and adaptive changes?
- What shifts in people's actions, attitudes, assumptions, and approaches help facilitate adaptive change?
- What are you doing now, or could do in the future, to develop adaptive leaders?
10 | Concentrate on helping leaders to become better defined and to deal adroitly with the sabotage.
- What type of definition would you seek to create in your leaders?
- What are the leadership truths you embrace? What grounds you as a leader? As a spiritual leader?
- What role does uncertainty play in the development of adaptive, self-differentiated leaders?
- What would be your next faithful step in becoming a more self-differentiated leader?
QUESTIONS | APPLICATIONS
- Where does anxiety show up in you? How do you manage it?
- When and where is anxiety most prevalent in your ministry setting?
- How do your leaders cope with anxiety?
- How do you help your leader manage anxiety well?
- What assumptions do you need to let go of to better manage anxiety?
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