GUIDE

Surface to Soul: Coaching Spiritual Vitality in Congregations is a workbook for leaders who seek spiritual vitality for themselves and the congregations they serve. it’s for pastors who have a passion for living out the Great commission and want to help people go deeper in their journey of faith. it’s for volunteer leaders and program staff who realize that the current way of practicing faith and doing church is not working and are willing to rethink assumptions, methods, and behaviors to get a different result. it’s for elders and council members who long to help reinvent the church but aren’t sure where to start and how to navigate the change that’s needed. Surface to Soul is for everyone who desires to live a vibrant faith that is authentic, available, and affirming!

When we talk about the process of creating deep and sustainable change among churches and their members, our Vibrant faith ministries team frequently describes the current faith formation process as a tattoo, where the actual change is skin deep and rubs off after a time, particularly after confirmation. Vibrant faith ministries aims to help pastors and lay leaders create home and congregational ecosystems that support lifelong faith formation and congregational vitality. in short, we’re about going deeper than a tattoo, that is, going from “surface to soul” to make vibrant faith part of your dNa—both at home and in your congregation. This workbook outlines our six-step coaching process that pastors and lay leaders may follow, with or without the assistance of a coach or consultant, to nurture spiritual vitality in congregations. This workbook is also a response to individuals who have attended our training events and have struggled to live into the change we advocate. it is for those who say, “We tried your program for a year and not much happened, so we dropped it.” We have found that these efforts take a commitment for the long haul and require leaders who will devote time and attention to the process. it’s true that without a consistent, long-term investment of time and leadership, congregational change efforts will fail, no matter the approach taken.

Following the introduction on vibrant Christians and vital congregations. The workbook will guide you through five essential steps that support a thriving congregational culture

1. CONNECT - Create an authentic, Christ-centered community
2. HIGHLIGHT - Review your purpose, passions, strengths, and identity
3. ALIGN -
4. NAVIGATE faithful next steps using a ministry road map
5. GUIDE
6. EVALUATE & EXPERIMENT  

So, if you were hoping for the quick fix, wanting to try the ministry flavor of the month, or ready to pursue ten easy steps to a growing congregation, this workbook is not for you. But if you yearn for a vibrant congregational culture that actually transforms the spiritual lives of its faith community and are willing to invest the necessary time, energy, and resources over a period of time to make vibrant faith part of their DNA, then by all means, read on!

Jim LaDoux
Vibrant Faith Ministries

Step 5 in Coaching Change | monitoring Progress, celebrating Wins, and making course corrections
Being a courageous follower of christ is hard work. Taking up our cross involves sacri- fice and a willingness to view the world and our daily encounters through the eyes of Jesus. exerting leadership for the sake of christ is also hard work, and we can expect to run into obstacles as we live into God’s preferred future. in the coaching cHaNGe process, persistence is key. Leaders will find that even if earlier steps of aligning and goal setting have gone relatively well, they will eventually encounter some resistance. as leaders, we can expect to be sabotaged by others. So how do we provide effective leadership as we swim upstream and move people beyond their comfort zones as well as ours? This chapter explores what it means to guide people and the cHaNGe process through such challenges.
When i go river rafting one of things i like to observe is how the guide interacts with the people in his raft, and how he exerts leadership along the way to the final destination. Specifically, the best guides exemplify five critical qualities:

• • maintaining a nonanxious presence in the midst of rough waters and changing conditions
• • addressing counterproductive behavior immediately
• • celebrating short-term wins
• • adjusting their plans based on the situation
• • recognizing and removing roadblocks

Maintaining a Non-anxious Presence
many years ago i lead a youth mission trip to New orleans, and i brought along an adult leader who was highly organized, had a deep faith, and was a great cook—all traits that were much appreciated for this trip. She also brought along another trait to the experi- ence that i wasn’t prepared for—anxiety. What started out as a minor irritation for me became a major issue by the middle of the trip. She had a strong need for control, and when she couldn’t control things to her satisfaction (pretty typical for a mission trip), her anxiety level skyrocketed. By day five of the mission trip, i was spending more time dealing with her anxiety than i was interacting with the young people. i noticed that other people were picking up her anxiety, including myself. it wasn’t until i realized how “viral” i had become that i was able to detach myself from the anxiety and exert more effective leadership. This experience taught me the importance of being a non-anxious presence in the midst of other people’s anxiety.

Addressing Counterproductive Behavior
a rafting guide learns to address unhelpful behavior immediately, because failing to do so may hinder outcomes and endanger participants. When congregational leaders fail to address counterproductive behavior, they jeopardize achieving the congregation’s mission and vision.

at a congregation’s staff leadership team retreat i was part of, i noticed that a couple of people presented major challenges to the team in fulfilling their collective roles. one of the team members was extremely rigid about how things needed to be done and frequently shut down conversations that the group desperately needed to have. another team member’s identity was wrapped up in the role she
played working at the congregation. She needed to prove herself to
others and often chided others who weren’t as committed as she
was. When i asked a couple of people how long these situa-
tions had been occurring, one remarked, “oh, longer than
i’ve been here,” which was more than seven years. When
asked, “Why hasn’t anyone addressed these situa-
tions?” several comments came forth:
“i didn’t see it as my role to confront them.”
“i know it’s a problem but i don’t have the time to deal with it.”
“i find it’s easier to work around it than deal with it.”
“i didn’t want to hurt their feelings.”
“i’m uncomfortable dealing with conflict.”
as an outsider, it was easy for me to see how the
dysfunction was adversely affecting the team’s produc-
tivity and cohesiveness. This team had created and regu-
larly recited a covenant that gave every team member
permission to address the dysfunction that was present. The “i
don’t have time” excuse is simply that—an excuse to remain immo-
bilized. my experience is that these conversations take very little time.
most people are simply afraid of entering into these conversations because we feel ill-equipped to do so.
Small problems often become big ones when we fail to address them as they arise. We hope that these problems will go away on their own and that we won’t have to deal with them. one consequence of waiting too long to tell a person something we should have told them immediately is that when we finally do say something six months later, the person begins to wonder what else we have not told her, destroying trust in that relationship.
We pay a significant cost when we walk away from these difficult conversations. if we don’t master the art of having crucial confrontations, nothing will get better.

Sometimes we think that we can solve performance problems by simply changing the performance review system or changing our personnel policies. These are technical solutions that won’t solve adaptive problems. Situations like the ones described above require a face-to-face conversation held in a safe place.
Before seeking to resolve an issue, we need to be clear about the exact nature of the problem we hope to resolve. i’ve noticed that most problems among leadership team members generally fall into one of three categories:
• A single, isolated situation: “i noticed that you arrived twenty minutes late to lead the choir rehearsal and some members were visibly upset while waiting for you. is there anything i should know about what prevented you from being on time?”
• A series or history of events that demonstrate a pattern: “i’ve noticed that you have a pattern of arriving five minutes late each week for teaching Sunday school.
This prevents us from greeting each student as they enter the classroom, and sometimes causes interruptions for other teachers. What are some ways you see that we could fix this problem?”
• A situation that adversely affects relationships: “Tom, the deadlines we assign to you are consistently not met, which disrupts our workflow in the office.
“Rotating bald tires is a time-consuming activity that changes nothing.”
i’m beginning to wonder if i can trust you with completing upcoming projects on time. Help me understand how i should interpret
your behavior.”
if the solution you’re applying doesn’t get you the results you want, you’re most likely dealing with the
wrong problem. if you’re dealing with the same issue more than once, you’re probably dealing with the
wrong type of problem. Sometimes we need to unbundle the problem and focus on the most significant problem first. Try distilling the problem
into a single sentence, such as “Tom, i’m struggling with your pattern of not replying to my urgent
e-mails in a timely manner.” avoid the tendency to sugarcoat the problem by sharing a compliment first and then following up with the “gap in behavior.” Listed
below are a few phrases i have found helpful while enter- ing into difficult conversations:
“Help me understand how you came to that conclusion . . .” “is there a reason you . . . ?”

“i’m uncomfortable with . . . / the statement you just made . . . / this course of action.”
“i’ve noticed . . . and i’m not sure how to interpret your actions.”
my dad used to tell me, “rotating bald tires is a time-consuming activity that changes nothing.” i think it serves as a helpful metaphor for all the things a congregation does to dance around problems rather than deal directly with them. These kind of problems will not be resolved unless there is someone serving as a nonanxious pres- ence who willingly addresses the causes of the problem rather than just the symptoms.
Monitoring Progress and Celebrating Short-Term Wins
i’ve noticed that guides always take time throughout the journey to affirm rafters and celebrate their progress. There are “high fives” after running a set of rapids, with frequent words of encouragement to recognize the contributions of each team member. in the same manner, effective leaders identify appropriate short-term goals for a congre- gation and make note of the progress they’re making. This is where having a written list of thirty-day, sixty-day and ninety-day goals can be helpful in identifying potential short-term wins that are worthy of celebration. in addition to recognizing and celebrat- ing short-term wins, a leader or coach can use these milestone moments to learn from their success and failures, asking questions such as these:
• What led to the successful completion of the goal? • How do we do more of what made us successful? • What slowed down our progress?
• What might we do differently in the future?
When working with congregations, i often encourage session moderators and council chairs to maintain a “celebrations” list, which is included at the bottom of every meeting agenda and is reviewed and updated at every meeting. By reviewing the cel- ebrations monthly, leaders are reminded that progress is being made, that God is at work through our efforts, and that attending to results and next steps are important. during this time of reviewing the celebration list, i’ll ask three questions:

• What has been accomplished since we last met that needs to be added to this list? • How will we inform the congregation about the progress we’re making?
• What do we hope to accomplish before we meet again?
celebrating short-term wins serves as a launching pad for setting next steps and new goals. it reminds people of their capacity to make a difference and energizes others to “get on board.” How might you make celebrating short-term wins part of your meeting rituals?
Adjusting Plans Based on the Situation
rafting guides learn to quickly assess the skills of their group and make adjustments as needed to accomplish their task. They learn when to move people beyond their com- fort zones, careful not to push them beyond what they are capable of. They move people to different locations and positions within the raft based on where they can make the biggest difference. They ask lots of questions and seek constant feedback to ensure a safe and memorable experience. effective leaders are like rafting guides who constantly assess the situation, quickly and accurately gather feedback, and discern how to best exert their leadership in ways that are most helpful for the congregation. They quickly match up the gifts and passions of their people with the congregation’s mission, and find ways to make the most of the congregation’s resources. in short, effective
leaders learn to be nimble and adaptive, making changes as needed to fulfill the mission. in his book Managing Transitions (Philadelphia: Perseus Books, 2009), author and business consultant William Bridges reminds us of the importance of
How might you make celebrating short-term wins part of your meeting rituals?
understanding the stages for transitioning from where we are to where we want to be.
coaches are aware of the two fears congregations face—the fear of too much change and the fear of too little change. People that fear
too much change are concerned about losing control. People that fear too little change may be unwilling to invest significant time and energy if they think the end result will be minimal. Please note that all change will produce conflict, which is good and not to be
avoided. a good guide will pay attention to how people are responding to the change and will make adjustments as needed to
move things forward in a healthy manner.

Recognizing and Removing Roadblocks
every goal has obstacles that hinder one’s progress or derail one’s plans. for river rafters, it’s rocks and rapids. Sometimes it’s one of the rafting participants. for congregations, it can be a multitude of things. Take time to review
“roadblocks to renewal” (Tool 26) and consider how you might
be more proactive in anticipating and dealing with the road- blocks you encounter. as you identify the roadblocks in your ministry, schedule time with staff or ministry team leaders to explore options for addressing them in a proactive manner. The roadblocks rarely disappear, so learn to
deal with them sooner rather than later.
How Congregations Sabotage Their Change Efforts
most roadblocks that congregations encounter are self- inflicted. Listed below are the top six ways i see congregations sabotage their own efforts.
Most roadblocks that congregations encounter are self-inflicted.
1. They send out mixed messages. Leaders must speak with one
voice and vision. change is disconcerting enough, but even more so when
the leaders are not on the same page. a clear and powerful vision, undergirded with a strong, credible strategy is almost unstoppable. This vision must be focused, flexible, and easy to communicate. it must be communicated in a way that inspires action and guides people’s actions and decision making.
2. They fail to obtain adequate buy-in. Not only must your congregation have a clear picture of what the future will look like, that vision must be embraced by key stakehold- ers of the congregation. Before a congregation announces a capital campaign, they typically have in place a guiding coalition, dozens of committed donors, and plenty of advocates ready to support the campaign process. When considering who might be part of your guiding coalition, ask yourself:
• Who are influential people that shape the opinions of our people?
• Who has expertise in areas that would help move this initiative forward?

 Who has earned the respect of others in our congregation?
• Who has proven leadership skills that can help drive the change process?
focus on getting 20 percent of your congregation to buy-in on the initiative before publicizing the project to everyone.
Successful
initiatives always have a sense of urgency.
3. They fail to create an “actionable” ministry plan. most plans i see only scratch the surface of what’s possible and are not designed to go
deep within the congregation. Superficial efforts will not be sustained, and eventually you’ll hear people say, “We tried that
before and it didn’t work.” We’ve all heard the phrase, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” if your plan does not identify
action steps that will involve the majority of your people, it will most likely fail. all good plans help people understand the big picture, the next steps that need to be taken, and
what role each person will play. if your plan leaves out any of these three items, expect to experience a few roadblocks. You may wish to review the section in the previous chapter
on navigating change about setting 30-day, 60-day and 90-day goals.
4. They work on too many projects at once. remember the phrase “do less and go deeper.” focus on just one or two initiatives rather
than a laundry list of projects. many congregations create a theme for the year and address just one project at a time. Successful initiatives always have a
sense of urgency built into them that provides a compelling reason for why others should get involved now. it’s very hard to communicate this urgency when you’re work- ing on multiple projects at once.
5. They undercommunicate. When it comes to change, there are three questions everyone wants answers for:
• What is the change? • Why is it happening? • How is it happening?
The why answers are what motivate people to take action. The how answers help people understand how the change will unfold and how they can contribute to the effort. When leaders spend months working on a plan, it’s easy for them to lose sight of the fact that others aren’t as fully invested at this point. This is like being on a roller coaster where the people in front (leaders) are well aware of what’s about to happen and the people at the end (members) are clueless about what’s about to transpire.

When in doubt, always overcommunicate. use at least seven different communication mediums, such as the following:
• one-to-one meetings and phone conversations
• Website, blogs, facebook, Twitter, other social media venues • e-mails
• Texting
• Posters and entryway signs and banners
• Video clips and storytelling
• cottage meetings, dinner discussions
• Newsletters, flyers, and handouts
i can’t think of a case when a program failed because there was too much commu- nication. make sure your communication efforts focus on your primary goals and key messages—avoid allowing less important projects and programs to overshadow your main talking points. Keep in mind that your communication plan must also address ways your congregation intends to address short-term wins and key accomplishments. People are energized by and will continue to support efforts if they see that they’re making progress and making a difference. Without the continued support of the people in the congregation, the change efforts will die a slow death.
6. They underestimate the power of entropy. i’m often amazed at how quickly congre- gations will revert to their old, counterproductive behaviors. resistance is always waiting in the wings to reassert itself. The consequences of letting up, becoming complacent about your communication and behaviors, can be very dangerous. Whenever you let up before the job is done, critical momentum can be lost and regression may soon follow. The new behaviors and practices must be driven into the congregational culture to ensure long-term success. once regression begins, rebuilding momentum is a daunting task.
i worked with a congregation that spent considerable effort reframing their leader- ship meeting agendas and integrating their key messages into everything they did. about six months into the coaching process, i noticed that their newsletter no longer included faith formation stories about their people (one of their goals), the meeting agendas no longer included time for caring conversations and for evaluating their meetings. Nor were they regularly reviewing their goals, tracking their accomplishments, and planning new thirty-day goals . The pastor continued to preach great sermons (i’d listen to his podcasts) but was no longer weaving the congregation’s mission and vision into them. in essence, what i was observing was entropy in action where the positive changes they had made earlier were no longer being practiced and reinforced. i didn’t wait to discuss this with him at our next coaching session. i called him immediately, because i knew that the longer we waited to correct the action, the harder it would be to reverse course. Leaders must avoid declaring victory too soon and moving on. They must focus on driving the desired change deeper into the congregation. They must take the time to ensure that the new practices are firmly grounded in the organization’s culture. i encourage leaders to keep and regularly review a list of “new behaviors and practices” they have implemented. i inform leaders that when the behaviors or practices are no longer being consistently observed, it needs to become an agenda item at their next leadership team meeting and stated in a way that gets at “How do we get back on track?” if leaders fail to address problems when they’re small, they almost always become larger and more significant problems later. it reminds me of how most congre- gations deal with inactive members. When people haven’t been active for one or two years, they end up on a list and the church sends a letter to the household asking if they intend to continue their membership. in my experience, less than 5 percent of inactive people ever become reactivated through this process. most congregations call this process “cleaning up our membership list.” Let’s face it, if we were really concerned about their spiritual well-being, we’d be contacting them after a month of inactivity, not waiting a year or more to find out their status. i call this practice the “too little too late” syndrome that plagues most congregations and hinders our capacity to do our best work on behalf of the kingdom.

How Leaders Sabotage Their Congregation’s Change Efforts
as individuals and leaders of the congregation, we need to acknowledge that we play an important role in whether or not our congregation fulfills its mission. We may lament that our congregation is drifting, lacks clarity of purpose, and can’t seem to sustain positive change. in many ways, it’s not much different than what most of us experience in our own lives. How many of us have created a personal mission statement or clearly understand what God is calling us to be and do? How many of us consistently eat well, exercise, floss our teeth, read the Bible, pray regularly, and more? unfortunately, it is much easier to set goals than it is to achieve them. individuals encounter many of the same roadblocks as congregations, such as lack of a clear vision and trying to do too many things too quickly. The roadblocks i find most common in congregational leaders include the following:
They lack a clear understanding of their own vocation. Leaders are often unclear about their vocation, or what Jesus is calling them to be and do for the sake of the kingdom.

Understanding our vocation is a spiritual discernment process that involves looking at our areas of giftedness, passions, life experiences, and more. it’s hard to be a self-differ- entiated leader and a nonanxious presence if we are unclear about who we are and whose we are, and what role we play when we interact with other congregational leaders.
They lack the necessary knowledge and skills to provide effective leadership. it’s hard for leaders to be effective if they lack critical knowledge about the congregation, family systems dynamics, how the congregation makes decisions, and so forth. is it fair to expect leaders to lead effective meetings if they’ve never been trained how to moder- ate one? is it fair to expect leaders to know how to deal with a member’s inappropriate venting if they haven’t role-played similar situations? does your congregation provide tools and training to help leaders facilitate focus groups, lead task forces, or serve as a project manager? if high performing teams are made up of high performing individuals, then how does a congregation and its leaders make sure that it’s helping pastors, program staff, and congregational leaders perform at their very best? Have you consid- ered helping leaders create a personal development plan to make the most of their giftedness? do you provide mentors for new leaders? are your leaders required to read certain books or articles? do you include continuing education presentations and resources at your monthly meetings? if we invite people into ministry, then we have to have a plan for equipping and supporting them.
They forget which hat they’re wearing. i remember working with a congregation who had a delightful, bubbly office manager named ruth who made everyone feel welcome and special. She radiated hospitality and knew just about everyone in the congregation. unfortunately, she was also organizationally challenged, computer illiterate, frequently forgot to pass on critical messages (“a member just died”) to pastors, and she viewed deadlines as mere suggestions. By not addressing the inadequacies of this person’s administrative skills, the very tasks she was hired to do, the organization was paying a huge cost. as i sat in on a meeting where leaders were discussing how to deal with ruth, it was obvious that people’s friendships with ruth were causing them to discount the adverse impact she was having on the work flow and overall ministry of the congre- gation. When there was a break in the conversation, i interjected a series of questions:
• does anyone have concerns about ruth’s character? (all shared a resounding “No”)
• does anyone have concerns about ruth’s competence related to her position? (all said “Yes”)
• is it fair to say that a person in this position should have good character and be competent? (all said “Yes”)

• is it fair to say that ruth’s lack of competence is negatively affecting ministry efforts of paid and volunteer workers? (all said “Yes”)
• is it fair to say that ruth’s lack of competence is hurting this congregation’s ability to fulfill its mission? (most said “Yes”)
• is it fair to say that your role as a congregational elder is to make decisions that are in the best interests of the congregation rather than based on your personal friendship with ruth? (eventually all said “Yes”)
The conversation continued but was framed in a much different manner once leaders were aware that they needed to wear their “council hat” at the moment rather than their “friend hat.”
Arrogance, defensiveness, and rigidity. Leaders that exhibit an arrogant, “i know best” mindset shut down constructive conversations. Leaders who are defensive also shut down conversations when they erupt in anger or are obviously irritated by the discus- sion. defensive leaders avoid being held accountable or project blame elsewhere. Leaders known for being rigid impose confining structures on their organizations, often because they lack basic confidence in their own abilities and the abilities of others. Their energy is focused on controlling everything and they are frequently perceived as micro- managers. if not addressed, all three of these behaviors tend to immobilize leadership teams, and important issues no longer get discussed and new ideas never get shared.
are your leaders willing to name the “elephants in the room”? do you have a strategy for dealing with these situations before they actually occur? do you have a covenant that gives you permission to confront inappropriate behavior?

Final Thoughts
every congregation i’ve worked with related to strategic planning has had to address the following roadblocks or obstacles at some point in the implementation process. i name them to provide you with a heads-up rather than offering a bevy of solutions. (See Tool 26, “roadblocks to renewal,” for additional insights.)
Procrastination: The hardest part for many people is just getting started. When you think about your goal in its totality, it may seem daunting. The key is to break it down into doable steps. once you do that, it’s easy to get started. i encourage pastors and program staff to inform their colleagues in ministry of their next steps in ministry and to ask people to hold them accountable.
Murphy’s Law: “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” Just when you were making real progress toward your goal, something unexpected happens and causes a setback.

How you approach a setback is critical. Some people will become discouraged, while others give up. others will take this in stride and find a way to get to their goal. do your best to plan ahead and anticipate problems, refusing to let these challenges derail you from moving forward.
Plateaus: it’s normal after working on your goal for a period of time to hit a plateau. You know when you’ve hit a plateau because the same things that were working before suddenly aren’t working—and that’s exactly the
problem. You need to do something different. Hitting a plateau means
you need to shake things up, do things in a different order, or try something new until you start seeing progress again. What worked when you first started on your goal may not work several weeks or months later. The key is flexibility and a willingness to try new approaches.
Discouragement: along the way to your goal you may hit a rough patch and become discouraged. The important thing to know about discouragement is that it’s temporary. This is when it’s helpful to have a prayer partner or a network of support to sustain you in times of disappointment.
There’s never a “right time” to facilitate change. We must accept that we are
going to experience obstacles along the way. We don’t know exactly which ones, but we know it’s inevitable. So, when something does happen, we’re not shocked and we’re not discouraged; it’s simply part of the process. dealing with these obstacles will require moving beyond our comfort zones and moving into uncharted territory. in most cases, when the comfort zone is at odds with our goal, the comfort zone usually wins unless we remind ourselves why we’re seeking the desired change. if the why is big enough, the how won’t hinder us from living into God’s preferred future.

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

1. Which of the five leadership traits found at the beginning of this chapter do you most readily exemplify? Which trait is needed most for your particular setting?
2. What are the roadblocks or obstacles facing your congregation?
3. How might your congregation be more proactive in dealing with the roadblocks?
4. Are there changes you could make in how you govern that would allow you to be more nimble and adaptive?
5. What are the comfort zones that you need to move beyond in order to achieve your personal goals? The goals of your congregation?
6. How might you create a culture where members are mutually accountable to each other? 
7. In what ways does our congregation typically sabotage its change efforts? 
8. How might we communicate more effectively in the future to help others embrace the change we’re seeking?