REINVENT YOUR FUTURE
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Introduction | Setting Coaching Norms

This session will explore the importance of setting and maintaining coaching norms and expectations in an ongoing coaching relationship. This practice is essential in ensuring both the coach and the client understand their roles, responsibilities, and commitments. Clear expectations provide a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and alignment, which are critical for successful coaching outcomes.

The ICF Core Competencies serve as the backbone of professional coaching, and today’s session will focus on how these competencies guide the establishment and review of coaching norms. Specifically, we’ll emphasize the following competencies:

  • 1:  Demonstrates Ethical Practice
  • 2:  Embodies a Coaching Mindset
  • 3: Establishes and Maintains Agreements
  • 4: Cultivates Trust and Safety
  • 7: Evokes Awareness

By the end of this session, you’ll be equipped with practical steps, strategies, and scripts for setting norms at the beginning of a coaching engagement and reviewing them mid-way through. Let’s get started!"

PART1  |  Creating the Agreement

1 | Clarify the Agreement

2 | Define Coaching Mindset

Define the coaching scope
  • Focus.  Leadership development, career transition, personal growth, etc.
  • Outcomes, Clarify the desired deliverables & discuss that the client is responsible for outcomes, actions and results.

Clarify session logistics
  • Start & end dates.
  • Frequency & length of meetings.
  • How to schedule/reschedule meetings.
  • Handling "no shows."
  • Location - in person, Zoom, phone call, etc.
  •  times duration, platform).
  • Pre-work before meetings.
  • Confidentiality for both parties.
  • If you are a mandatory reporter, mention it.
  • Schedule check-in times.
  • Address potential conflicts of interest.

Roles | List who's responsible.
  • Client is responsible for scheduling meetings.
  • Client names the talk about/take away.
  • Client is responsible for outcomes & results.
  • Client is responsible for their actions/outcomes.
  • Client is in the driver's seat.
  • Coach facilities conversation via questions.
  • Coach may offer insights and observations.
  • Coach may point to helpful resources.
  • Coach asks client for permission to share things.
  • Confirm mutual responsibilities (coach as a facilitator, client as an active participant).

Sample Coaching Scripts
"To ensure our coaching relationship is as effective as possible, let's discuss some foundational expectations. First, coaching is a collaborative process where you bring the agenda, and I provide the space for reflection, insight, and action. We’ll meet for [X minutes] every [X weeks] using [Zoom/phone/in-person]. Everything we discuss remains confidential, except in situations that require legal or ethical disclosure. How does this approach align with your expectations?"
  • Emphasize commitment to personal growth and ongoing reflection.
  • Discuss the client’s role in identifying goals and taking action.
  • Reinforce that coaching is not consulting, therapy, or mentoring.
 
Sample Coaching Script
"Coaching is a space where you will deepen self-awareness, gain insights, and create meaningful action. My role is not to give you advice but to help you explore possibilities, challenge limiting beliefs, and support your progress. How do you see yourself engaging in this process?"

STEP 3 | Set Communication Norms

  • Agree on preferred methods of communication outside of sessions (email, text, Slack).
  • Define response times for messages.
  • Address cancellations and rescheduling policies.

Sample Coaching Script
"How would you like to handle communication between our sessions? Some clients like a mid-session check-in via email, while others prefer to reflect independently. Also, if you need to reschedule, I request at least a 24-hour notice. Does that sound reasonable to you?"

STEP 4 | Set "Progress" Norms

  • Identify ways to track progress (self-assessment, feedback check-ins, goal review).
  • Set up an ongoing reflection practice.
  • Discuss how to handle shifts in focus or priorities.

Sample Coaching Scripts
"One way we ensure coaching remains effective is by tracking your progress. At the start of each session, we’ll check in on your goals, discuss insights, and refine our focus if needed. How would you like to measure and reflect on your growth?"

2 | Reinforce Trust & Psychological Safety

PART 2  |  Reviewing the Agreement

1 | Conduct a "Check-in" Conversation

Normalize the check-in process as a natural way of making sure that all parties are getting what they need from each other to do their best work.

  • Assess client engagement (enthusiasm, participation, application of learning).
  • Identify any shifts in goals or priorities.
  • Encourage feedback on the coaching experience.

Coaching Script Example:
"We’ve been working together for a few months, and I’d love to check in on how this process is working for you. Are there aspects of our coaching engagement that have been particularly valuable? Are there areas where we need to adjust our approach?"

2 | Reinforce Trust & Psychological Safety

Make sure that the space is safe and free of distractions just as you'd have for any conversation. 

  • Reiterate that coaching is a judgment-free space.
  • Invite deeper levels of self-reflection and honesty.
  • Address any discomfort or concerns.

Sample Coaching Script
"I want to make sure this space continues to be safe and supportive for your growth. Is there anything I could do differently to make our sessions more effective?"

3 | Adjust norms & expectations

Focus on moving forward and what specific words and actions to lead to a fruitful outcomes.

  • If goals have evolved, realign the coaching focus.
  • Revisit logistics (session frequency, format, communication).
  • Explore whether new strategies need to be incorporated.

Sample Coaching Script
"Now that we’re midway through our engagement, do we need to adjust anything about our process—such as the pace, structure, or focus? Your input is valuable in ensuring we maximize our time together."

Using AI questions in ongoing coaching conversations

Today's Focus

KEY POINTS

1 | A reframing tool
2 | A focus on assets
3 | Learning from our past
4 | Encouraged to use all senses

APPLICATION

1 | How will build on the 5Qs?
2 | How will this increase confidence?
3 | How can we create hope?

KEY POINTS

1 | Deepens accompaniment
2 | Accelerates change; action
3 | Emphasis abundance
4 | Reduces victim mindset

APPLICATION

1 | Ask, "Where did it show up?"
2 | Ask, "Where could it show up?"
3 | "Try on" a few questions
4 | Notice people lighting up.

KEY POINTS

1 | A sequential process
2 | Ideas to implementation
3 | Steps are addressed
4 | Personal & work applications

APPLICATION

1 | Where is it showing up now?
2 | Which "D" needs more attention?
3 | What limit's people's dreams?


KEY POINTS

1 | Coaching leads to change
2 | Coaches disrupt self-limitations
3 | Hopeful teams move forward
4 | Help clients name the assets

APPLICATION

1 | Do help infuse hope as a coach?
2 | Focus on only 1 principle
3 | List what energized you


KEY POINTS

1 | Help clients add detail to dreams
2 | Clear outcomes aid actions
3 | "Say more" more often
4 | Lack of clarity is immobilizing

APPLICATION

1 | Try using say more 3x/session
2 | Notice what "bubbled up"
3 | Note how say more helps you

KEY POINTS

1 | Pictures are powerful
2 | Describe the experience
3 | Spark dreaming w/out directing

APPLICATION

1 | When do you dream big?
2 | Do your limitations limit others?
3 | Consider "think, do & feel"

Practice | Ps & Ds

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