Coaching Content

2016 Monthly Certification School Themes and Questions.

ICF defines this competency as the ability “to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust.” Establishing trust is essential to the coaching relationship. When there is no trust between the coach and client, it is difficult for the client to open up and to share ideas and concerns. Trust comes from the safe space that is created when the coach demonstrates that she is reliable, can refrain from judging the client, and considers the client whole and complete. When these elements are in place, the client is much more likely to feel understood and safe sharing any ideas without fear of being rejected or judged negatively. BACKGROUND ON TRUST AND INTIMACY Let us consider the literature that discusses the creation and importance of trust, specifically German philosopher Martin Heidegger, entrepreneur Fernando Flores, leadership expert Steven M. R. Covey, and coach Rafael Echeverría. In his book Being and Time, Heidegger asserts that the only thing that is certain is death. We do not know when or how it will happen, but as soon as we are born, we are already old enough to die. Because we are never far from this fundamental vulnerability in relation to our existence, trust plays an important role in keeping us calm and balanced. When there is trust we have greater confidence, feeling more protected and less vulnerable. When there is no trust, threats often appear exaggerated (see Richard Polt’s Heidegger, an Introduction). This mentality can lead to a feeling of being in near-constant danger—always vulnerable—and aversion to taking bigger risks. If someone inspires trust in me, it means I have confidence that she has my best interests at heart. It means that I know she will care about the things that are important to me, will take into consideration my worries and concerns, and will not do me harm. She will support me. This feeling of trust is fundamental to the coaching relationship. The competency of establishing trust and intimacy is defined by the ICF as the ability to create a safe environment. When the client feels confident, safe, supported, accepted, and respected, she has a higher likelihood of committing to the coaching process. The client is willing to “open up” and discuss wide-ranging topics because she feels comfortable and secure, knowing that the coach will support and accept her unconditionally. In Building Trust in Business, Politics, Relationships and Life, Robert Solomon and Fernando Flores write, “Trust is something we do, that we create, maintain with our promises, commitments, emotions and sense of integrity. Trust is a choice, a decision.” Trust begins with an assessment. If we carry a positive judgment about the client and the process, and we believe in ourselves, we will help instill trust in our clients. This will support clients in opening up, being vulnerable, and talking about the work they have to do to reach their goals. It is a decision the coach makes, not only about what she has to do, but also about how she is deciding to “show up.” When the coach decides to be confident, generous, and kind, and projects a peaceful demean-or, she engenders a trusting relationship with the client. “People aren’t about to hand over a part of their future to someone who they don’t trust,” points out Fernando Flores (in Conversations for Action and Collected Essays). In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey writes, “Trust is the highest level of human motivation. It attracts the best in people but it takes time and patience.” The author often uses an “emotional bank account” metaphor, in which he explains that what adds to the trust account is acts of courtesy, honesty, and generosity, and the maintenance of commitments. Covey identifies a variety of other ways to increase trust deposits, such as demonstrating devotion, clarifying expectations, exhibiting integrity, and genuinely apologizing when one makes a mistake. All of the above practices should be applied by the coach. FOUR KEY ELEMENTS OF TRUST In The Speed of Trust, Steven M. R. Covey identifies four key elements in the development of trust that can be applied during the coaching process. The first element is integrity. It is related to the amount of consistency we maintain between what we say and what we do, and the way we are perceived by others. As coaches, we are required to respect the joint commitment between client and coach. If we are not on time, or if we fail to follow through on something, we are making withdrawals from the trust account. This is especially important during the outset of the coaching process, given
that our first sessions will define and set the tone of the coaching relationship. Failing to build trust and integrity in these formative first meetings could result in the client deciding not to continue the coaching relationship. The second element presented by Covey is intention. How effective are we at clarifying our intentions? Are we clear in defining expectations with our clients? This is essential to the coaching agreement, because the clearer the coach can be in defining and conveying exactly what is expected in the coaching relationship, the safer the client will feel. This is of paramount importance in laying a foundation for productive collaboration between coach and client. The third element is capacity, which includes knowledge, abilities, talents, and personal style. When the coach has the training, credentials, and appropriate level of experience, the likelihood that she will be perceived as credible is at its highest. For example, the ICF requires accredited coaches to take 40 hours of continuing education, including three hours in ethics and professional standards, to renew their credential. This requirement demonstrates to current and future clients that the coach is committed to expanding her coaching knowledge and to personal and professional growth. The fourth element is results. When the coach works with clients whose productivity improves, this fosters credibility. In particular, client testimonials to the coach’s effectiveness can greatly enhance a coach’s marketability. Continued training, and the appropriate abilities and skills, will aid in the development of trust. TWO SIDES OF TRUST In his book La Empresa Emergente (The Emerging Company), Rafael Echeverría writes that trust has two sides: assessments and emotions. When I say Juan is trustworthy, that is an assessment—a belief or opinion I have about Juan. It may be a factual statement, meaning I have some evidence for it. Or it could be extra-factual, for example if others have influenced me to think of Juan as trustworthy. This type of judgment will influence the type of relationship I end up developing with Juan, just as it will affect the way I speak about Juan when I’m talking about him to others. The problem comes when we take assessments as fact, and proceed as though what we believe or think we know about Juan (without actual evidence) is, without a doubt, the truth. If one side is judgment (assessment), the other side of trust is emotional. When I say Juan is trustworthy, I’m conveying that I feel calm in his presence. In essence, when I’m around Juan, my emotional state changes. If I think Juan is not trustworthy, I will feel uncomfortable around him, and I will behave differently. I might be less likely to be open with Juan, and more likely to be defensive, nervous, or worried. TRUST DOMAINS From the perspective of the coach, the development of trust in the coaching relationship has three key aspects: trust in the client, trust in oneself as coach, and trust in the coaching process. Trust in oneself means that the coach is secure in the knowledge that she has the requisite training and specific experience to be effective in the role of coach. Experience fosters confidence. In mentor-coaching groups, coaches that have many years of coaching experience often still seek practice with colleagues to feel more confident at applying the competencies presented in this book. When a coach is confident, the judgments of others—positive or negative—have little bearing on her opinion of herself, and she does not feel the need to demonstrate how knowledgeable she is about a topic. When these kinds of worries are absent, the coach is more “available” to the client. Trust in the client means that the coach “demonstrates respect for the ideas, learning style and overall presentation and habits of the client” (Whitworth et al., Co-active Coaching). The coach is capable of expressing confidence in the thought process of the client. The authors of Co-active Coaching suggest that clients are “complete” and have all of the answers (or if not the answers, the ability to find the answers). The coach’s job is not to “fix” anything about the client, but instead to ask questions and invite self-discovery. Clients are deemed to be creative, capable of finding the resources, and able to generate the questions they need. The coach’s job is to be curious without providing consultation. In other words, the role of the coach is not to be an expert, but to remain focused on the client’s goals. Trust in the process means that the coach has confidence that the coaching process works and that, whatever the exact direction of the session, the client will benefit from the conversations that take place. Personally or with her clients, the coach has experienced the power of the coaching transformation, and she knows that coaching can make a difference in clients’ lives.
 
To build trust, the coach can strategically, and confidentially, share stories of what other clients have achieved in the coaching process, or share a personal experience that might allow a client to identify with the coach. Other strategies are to ask questions that demonstrate interest in the client, and to ask clarifying questions that may be questions that the client also has. When the coach asks questions that might be uncomfortable for a client, it is best to first ask the client for permission, to ensure that the client feels safe exploring topics that are challenging. When there is trust between the client and the coach, intimacy develops—a bond is created. When intimacy develops, clients feel safe enough to share ideas and to be vulnerable. You know this kind of intimacy is present when a client shares her vulnerabilities with you as if she has known you for a very long time. Building trust and intimacy is about respecting, supporting, and encouraging the client. As you can see in the transcripts, the coaches make specific and supportive comments to create a safe environment. We did not provide specific evidence for Marker 3 (encourage the client to fully express herself) in this chapter because it is demonstrated throughout both coaching sessions (see Appendix). THE “GOOD COACH” IMAGE The Professional Certified Coach, while she may have the ability to establish trust and a connection between herself and the client, may be overly concerned with presenting the image of a “good coach.” As a result, she may be less willing to take risks. Trust and intimacy are not truly present when a coach is more interested in her own perspective of what is best for the client than in helping the client to uncover her own. This is often evidenced by little or no effort being made to grasp the client’s own perspective of the situation. Neither are trust or intimacy present when the coach’s attention is focused on demonstrating knowledge about a topic rather than on inviting the client to share her own ideas, or when the coach sets the direction of a session without asking for the client’s opinion. Finally, this competency will not have been demonstrated if the coach displays what appears to be an intention to teach during the session instead of coaching the client. In coaching situations, we may fail to recognize the absence of trust. This can take the form of our belief that the client has truly opened up, when she is really sharing only a part of the story. We may be convinced that a client lacks motivation in her work, when what is really lacking is trust in the coaching process and relationship. MARKERS OF PROFICIENCY IN CREATING TRUST AND INTIMACY IN A COACHING SESSION The behavioral markers for this competency are: 1. Coach acknowledges and respects the client’s work in the coaching process. 2. Coach expresses support for the client. 3. Coach encourages and allows the client to fully express him/herself.
 
THE COMPLICATION OF “MANDATORY COACHING” One of the most difficult contexts in which to form a trusting coaching relationship is when the coaching is mandatory. The client may not even be interested in participating, or may not understand what coaching is. When organizations send employees for coaching without a clear explanation of why they are being sent, or as a way to “punish” or “remedy” some work-related issue, it is not uncommon for a client to be defensive and not trust the coaching process. It is through clear coaching explanations—about the coach’s role, the possible benefits of coaching, the coach’s credentials and experience—that the client can appreciate the value of coaching and commit to working on the identified areas. If it is determined that trust cannot be created due to variables beyond the coach’s control, it is important for the coach to decide whether or not to continue working with the person. If the coach suspects the client is not ready to fully participate in the coaching process, she needs to have a conversation with the client or the client’s sponsor (respecting confidentiality and recognizing that delivering such a message could harm the sponsor’s view of the employee) to convey that assessment, and to attempt to identify alternatives to coaching. It is important to know the level of the client’s commitment to the coaching. She may be committed to her professional growth in general, but not necessarily committed to growth in a particular context just because a manager or family member has recommended that she embark on a coaching process. For these reasons, in situations where the coach has been hired by the organization and not chosen by the client, the development of trust takes on greater importance, which could be overlooked. In this scenario, how might the coach create trust with the client? One strategy would be to demonstrate genuine interest in the person, not just as an employee of the company but also as a human being, with worries and needs of her own that go beyond the particular work challenge or question the coach was called in to help address. The first conversation relating to coaching that takes place is very important in this regard. The coach should explain clearly to the client what is expected in the coaching relationship, the coaching methodology, the importance of confidentiality, and any other topic that will clarify for the client what the coaching process entails.

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