EQ: Going deeper with self-awareness

November 13th, 2025
by Jim LaDoux

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence because it helps us understand what’s happening inside us before those emotions spill outward. When we increase our ability to notice our thoughts, patterns, triggers, and reactions, we begin leading from a place of grounded clarity rather than habit or autopilot. In leadership, self-awareness becomes even more essential: people respond not only to the content of our communication but to the energy, tone, and emotional landscape we bring into a room. When we understand ourselves deeply, we create space to lead with wisdom, humility, and intentionality.

Why It Matters
Leaders who cultivate self-awareness make better decisions, communicate more authentically, and build healthier teams. When you know what emotions you’re experiencing and why, you gain agency over how you respond. Self-awareness reduces reactivity, increases confidence, and strengthens your ability to show up as the person—and leader—you want to be.

KEY CONCEPTS

Naming Your Emotions. Many leaders experience emotions but don’t label them accurately. Being able to distinguish frustration from overwhelm or anxiety from anticipation changes how you address the issue. For example, instead of saying “I’m stressed,” try: “I’m feeling stretched and worried because the deadline moved.
Understanding Your Emotional Triggers. Triggers are predictable emotional activators certain situations, people, or words that spark big reactions. For example, if you notice you become defensive when your ideas are questioned, that awareness becomes the starting point for growth rather than shame.
Impact Awareness. This involves noticing how your emotional state affects othe For example, a leader who arrives hurried and anxious may unintentionally create tension for the entire team meeting.
Internal Narratives. Your inner stories shape your feelings and actions. For example, if your internal narrative says, “I must get everything right,” moments of feedback feel threatening rather than helpful.
Values Alignment. Knowing your core values helps you recognize when your actions drift away from what matters most. For example, if you value compassion but react impatiently, that dissonance signals a growth opportunity.

STRATEGIES

Practice the “Name It to Tame It” Ritual. Pause at least three times daily and name your emotion. For example: “Right now I feel disappointed and tired.”
Keep a 7-Day Trigger Journal. Track moments that spark strong reactions. You might notice: criticism, interruptions, tight deadlines, or uncertainty.
Ask for Impact Feedback. Invite someone you trust to reflect your leadership presence back to you. For example, “When I’m under pressure, how do I tend to show up in meetings?”
Use Body Awareness. Your body often knows you’re overwhelmed before your mind does. For example, notice tight shoulders, shallow breathing, or clenched jaw.
Values Check-In. Ask at the end of each day, “Where did I live my values well today, and where did I drift?”

CLOSING THOUGHT
Self-awareness isn’t self-criticism—it’s self-understanding. When you learn to see yourself clearly and compassionately, you unlock the capacity to lead yourself and others with courage, authenticity, and grace.