Breakthrough Coaching is about going beyond surface‐level coaching to evoke moments of insight (“lightbulb moments”) that change how clients see themselves, their stories, their possibilities. Reynolds blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, reflective inquiry, and psychological safety to equip coaches to help clients disrupt old mental frames, clarify what they truly want, and commit to authentic action. The book is arranged in five parts:

• Part 1: How to Embody a Coaching Mindset
• Part 2: Maintaining a Client-Centered Focus
• Part 3: What Is Their Desired Outcome, Really?
• Part 4: Debugging the Operating System
• Part 5: Turning Insights into Commitments

Each Part has several chapters with tools, examples, cases, and exercises. Below I dive into key points, action items, and questions raised from Part 1. 

This opening chapter reframes coaching not as a performance but as a relational practice of being fully present. Reynolds emphasizes that breakthroughs rarely come from perfectly crafted questions; they come from the coach’s attuned presence. Coaches must release self-consciousness, resist the urge to fix or impress, and instead focus on deep listening, curiosity, and trust in the client’s wisdom. The aim is to create a “thinking partnership” where clients discover insights in their own voice.

Key Concepts:

• Coaching presence is more powerful than polished delivery.
• Breakthroughs emerge when coaches create mental and emotional spaciousness.
• Perfectionism can block authentic connection.
• Listening to understand (not to reply) is the foundation of trust.
• Coaches create safety by modeling openness and humility.

Action Steps:

• Begin sessions with a centering ritual (breathing, grounding, intention-setting).
• Notice and let go of self-critical thoughts during coaching.
• Replace “performing questions” with genuine curiosity.
• Practice silence to allow clients’ reflections to deepen.
• Journal after sessions about when you felt most present or distracted.

Discussion Questions:

• When do you feel most “present” with clients? Least present?
• How does striving for perfection hinder authentic connection?
• What rituals help you release distractions before coaching?
• In what ways can silence serve as a coaching tool?
• How can you tell when your presence has created a breakthrough moment?

Here Reynolds introduces “unselfing” — the practice of putting aside the coach’s ego, assumptions, and desire to be right. Coaches often bring unconscious biases, frameworks, or personal agendas that distort their listening. Unselfing is about humility, curiosity, and setting aside the need to appear wise. It allows the client’s voice and perspective to remain primary.

Key Concepts:

• Ego-driven coaching sabotages breakthroughs.
• Bias and assumptions creep into language and tone.
• Curiosity is the antidote to judgment.
• Self-awareness is a daily discipline.
• Breakthroughs happen when the coach holds the mirror, not the spotlight.

Action Steps:

• Identify common assumptions you bring into sessions and note how they show up.
• Practice reflective listening instead of advice-giving.
• Use client’s language verbatim instead of re-framing with your words.
• Notice bodily cues (tension, leaning in) that signal you’re centering yourself.
• Debrief with a peer coach to uncover hidden biases in your sessions.

Discussion Questions:

• What does “unselfing” look like in practice for you?
• How do you know when your ego is intruding in a session?
• What strategies help you let go of the need to sound wise?
• How does bias show up in your listening or questioning?
• What might your clients gain when you fully “unself” as their coach?

Breakthrough coaching requires congruence between intuition (gut), compassion (heart), and analysis (mind). Reynolds argues that leaning too heavily on one dimension distorts the coaching relationship. A balanced approach integrates empathy, intuition, and reasoning, creating both emotional resonance and intellectual clarity.

Key Concepts:

• The gut signals intuitive knowing.
• The heart conveys empathy and compassion.
• The mind offers structure, logic, and frameworks.
• Over-reliance on one aspect limits breakthroughs.
• Integration strengthens presence and client trust.

Action Steps:

• Track your coaching tendencies: Are you more heart-, gut-, or mind-driven?
• In session prep, set an intention to draw from all three.
• Use body scans during coaching to sense intuitive nudges.
• Pause mid-session to ask yourself: “Am I balanced?”
• Reflect after sessions: which dimension was strongest, which was missing?

Discussion Questions:

• Which dimension (gut, heart, mind) comes most naturally to you?
• How can you recognize when your coaching feels “off-balance”?
• In what ways does intuition contribute to breakthroughs?
• What risks arise when coaching with too much analysis? Too much empathy?
• How can you intentionally cultivate balance in your coaching practice?

Psychological safety is essential for clients to explore vulnerable truths. Reynolds describes how clients may resist or protect themselves if they feel judged or unsafe. Coaches create safety by demonstrating unconditional positive regard, confidentiality, empathy, and non-judgmental curiosity. Without safety, breakthroughs cannot emerge.

Key Concepts:

• Safety unlocks vulnerability, which unlocks transformation.
• Trust builds through consistency, honesty, and respect.
• Safety is co-created — not assumed.
• Non-judgmental curiosity fosters deeper disclosure.
• Breakthroughs require both challenge and care.

Action Steps:

• Explicitly review confidentiality and boundaries in every coaching agreement.
• Use open body language and consistent eye contact.
• Normalize struggle by affirming the client’s courage to explore.
• Ask permission before offering a challenge or new perspective.
• Regularly check in: “How safe does this space feel for you right now?”

Discussion Questions:

• How do you define psychological safety in your coaching relationships?
• What verbal and nonverbal cues show your clients feel safe?
• How can coaches recover when trust is breached?
• Why is balancing challenge and safety critical for breakthroughs?
• What practices help you maintain a non-judgmental stance?

Please share your insights and comments related to this blog, particularly around the concept of "unselfing" and cultivating a posture of authenticity and humility.