Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

I think this is a great way to begin with myself. I have heard on many occasions that if you are not in the right mindset, you can't move forward. Sometimes, on the day to day activities, we forget to take some time to reflect where do we want to go, or what do we want to accomplish. This also reminds me when Jim said that he takes some time to create a list of things he would like to do in the incoming year. I feel I need to do that for myself, as well as answer some of the questions that are written on this blog, and just spend sometime with me.

I am easily stuck in judgement because I am so sure I am correct or because my experiences have led me to form strong opinions about situations. Focusing on where I want to go, instead of focusing on the things that have hemmed me in, may shift my thinking from what factors (people, systems, places) have caused my current path to solutions and course-correction. Focusing on the road and not the wall is a great metaphor for getting where I want to go instead of thinking of all the reasons why I can't get there!



My brain often stays in logistics mode, thinking about the how not the what, which may be limiting my team and myself. I am not afraid to make brave and bold choices, but I do have a pattern of doing things the way that is most comfortable because it has worked in the past. This week I am going to ask myself and others, "Is there a better way?" as often as possible to see where this dreaming may take us!

One of my favorite nuggets from this article:

"QT shifts our orientation from fixed opinions and easy answers to curiosity and open-minded conversations that provide fertile ground to collaborate, explore, and innovate." (and I love that whole list of QT questions!)



I have used Question Storming with committees and our staff, and the process was really useful. I wonder about using it in one on one coaching--could it be "homework"? (ie, generate a list of 20 questions you have about this

Each of the different sections could be their own coaching focus with so many good questions to add to our list of coaching questions. But what struck me most is that there is so much internal work that we can (should) do to become a better coach. It feels a little intimidating to realize how I can easily flip from coach to client. If am able to ask myself these questions. If I can get into the habit of question thinking, how much more powerful and relevant will the questions be that I can ask my clients. Being self-aware helps you be more present with others. As you sit with a client and listen to their story, you can give them your all because you've already done your own work beforehand.

I'm really intrigued by the feed forward line of questioning. I'd love to figure out how to implement that in my ministry setting and with clients in other ministry settings. Being able to move my people to a future-oriented mindset would really move us forward in planning and living into a future reality instead of dwelling in the past.

I like the reflection on how we all can get stuck in judging situations based on past experiences and our own beliefs. Instead of focusing on what we think is holding someone back, we can ask questions that shift their thinking to focus on where they want to go... from new possibilities to being more self-aware. I want to become a better coach who helps the client have a future-oriented mindset. To do this, I will work on being more present and effective in coaching sessions, helping others work towards that better future.

One of things I've liked best about coaching training is that I'm also learning to coach myself. I thought it was kind of a weird thing to disclose to people- the change I'm undergoing as a person, as a major byproduct of a coaching training. But I've actually liked that the ability to coach myself helps me relate to and be excited for the changes that people I coach undergo.



Sections 2 and 5 stood out to me for being on the things I'm working on most. One of the questions I ask myself regularly is "Why do I care so much about this?" and "So What do I want? No thinking- name the first thing that pops into my head." It usually is a variation of the same thing, and that's been very helpful. Section 5 on banishing judgements has been very impactful as well. I never realized how many negative and judgement mindsets I was feeding myself. And I'm working on comebacks to myself in this area. If I think something negative, I try to find a minute to reframe this idea.

I love the idea of question-storming as a team. I think it would be difficult at first, but powerful once we started seeing the results. I think encouraging team members to think of questions instead of ideas could help the folks on the team who aren't always comfortable with a flurry of ideas take on an inquisitive or investigative role and feel like they can participate in a more robust way.

I have no idea how I missed doing this assignment at the appropriate time, but I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. These are excellent questions to be asking and I really like the concept of Question Thinking and Question Storming. Every part of this resonates with me, and I want to carry my notes around until I absorb it fully. I'm particularly drawn to the list of questions to entertain more often. I'm literally going to carry this around with me until it becomes a part of who I am.

The QT mindset is helpful for a coaching conversation. Social communication is extremely reactionary and is fast-paced. Coaching conversations allows spaces for deep dives into the thoughts of the client where we are asking them to be intentional with the questions asked. We talk about coaching mindset, but we also should invite our clients to have a Question Thinking mindset.